Share our love of handbags, books, and all things gossip...okay, and Twilight too.

We're two delightfully crass gals who spend an inordinate amount of time texting and e-mailing one another throughout the day. We've decided to expound on some of our best work. Please to enjoy.

Vanilla Sex...Part Two

Since Mr. Bitches Vanilla Sex Public Service Announcement was so well received last week, he has compiled another list in an effort to educate and possibly enrich our sex lives. Future Vanilla Sex Posts and other Public Service Announcements will be featured on Mr. Bitches new blog. Please to enjoy:

As a follow up Public Service Announcement, I have decided to provide more examples of "How to know if you're having vanilla sex." If you find yourself in any of the following situations, please make changes before it is too late.

This may look good, but doesn't the next one look better?

On to the countdown.....

1. You get happy when the spouse breaks out the chocolate sauce and whipped cream because you know you're getting a sundae.

2.You hear a buzzing sound coming from the bathroom and know its an electric toothbrush.

3. "I need to trim the bush" actually means going outside and cutting the hedges.

4. While watching 9 ½ Weeks all you can think about is how much cleaning up it's going to take in the kitchen.

5. It really is just a back massager.

6. Pearl necklaces go in the jewelry box right next to the gold ones.

7. Someone asks you about your toy chest and you give them a full account of the GI Joe's, Transformer's, and Hot Wheel cars your kids keep in it.

8. Dirty Sanchez is the homeless guy on the corner

9. Deep Throat was a political informant.

10. Dick's and BJ’s are fine shopping establishments.

And the Extra Bonus way to know you're having vanilla sex:

If you tie your husband to the bed... Wait for it... Only so you can watch Twilight in peace. You're having vanilla sex.