As I was rushing through security to get to the airport bar and down a beer before my flight (those pre-flight beers can be a savior...it can either say, hey don't bother me or I might throw up on you or hey I'm ready for a good time...just depends what kind of eyes you give the person sitting next to you) the TSA agend behind the scanner machine says, "Ma'am, are you an artist?" I was thrown off by a couple of things:
1. Ma'am? Wow, throw some cold water on my hot flashes why don't ya? Yeah, so I guess I'm not the cute young thang that I thought I was. Since when does 30 constitute ma'am? I'm still a miss fo' sho! I mean just because I bought a full coverage granny bra last week that has 2 hooks in the back and nice thick straps does NOT mean that I'm an old lady!
2. Artist? What the eff? Where is this coming from? After my confused expression, the TSA agents says, "well, I thought maybe you were because of the models in your bag, you know like those wooden models used for sketching?" 
I'm obviously still confused until I remember what's in my laptop bag...oh yeah the Pocket Es and B. Yeah...if she only knew. I guess my Pocket E photography could count as art, right? I immediately break a sweat because I am starting to fear the dreaded TSA bag search. You know what I'm talking about. They put on those blue gloves (like you have random body fluids in your bag?) and take everything out and put it on display for everyone to see. I figure I am doomed because my watch already set off the metal detector when I walked through. The gods must have been smiling because the TSA agent dropped the whole deal and let me get my ass down to the bar. Another crisis averted!
Look at my super-cool x-ray like effect. Okay not really, but I'm still learning!
12 comments:
Bahahaha! This is the funniest shit I've heard all day! No really, THE FUNNIEST! Did you answer the question by saying, "Yes, I'm an artist." Or did you just nod your head in embarassment?
HA! I HATE it when people call me ma'am... i usually just ignore them cause i'm all "who the hell are they talking to?" then i remember that i'm almost thirty and i die a little inside :-P loved this post! it's definitely art.... just our own twilight-y-no-one-gets-us kind.
As I said elswhere: Art. New Genre: PEtography.
But wait... is it just me or does that purse look like a... *whisper* v.a.g.i.n.a.?? Sort of???
Oh boy... it's 4:37 a.m. here in Germany, and I'm all... dunno... LOL... better go to bed now. LOL
Oh shit, love it, the vagina pocketbook.
That is far to freaking funny! Are you an artist!? ahhahaa Okay so three beers in I suck at commenting, but I shit you not, I am laughing like a loon. Truly. Also I am LOVING the WA discussion section on your fabulous blog! I thank the both of you for it. :)
This is hilarious!!! I hate that too, but I guess as soon as one gets over this 30. mark one have to live with that. Still, I hate that!
And I hope you simply said "Yes I´m an artist" There are many ways to be an artist, right? Let´s just say for today, having a hilarious blog and awesome posts counts:-))
Hilarious! I wonder if Edward was x-rayed, would his x-rays or bones sparkle?
Sometimes, I think about this stuff waaaay too much. :)
LOL! So I'm not the only nutjob carrying a PE in a pencil case everywhere I go ;) I wonder if the TSA keeps a list of us somewhere...
Do you have the matching Granny panties for the granny bra? After you admitted the bra the rest of the post was just gravy.
There is no excuse for granny bras...ever! One day, they're going to make you pull everything out of your bag and you're going to have to face the TSA agent's judging eyes...just so you know.
My Edward just hangs out in my purse, I never bought him a bag. Niece FC did ask why i take him everywhere with me though. Well i don't want hers to get mixed up with mine at home, do i? Hers has shoe mismatching issues. (One is lighter than the other, i kid you NOT!)
Amazing amount of great, actionable advice. I will keep coming back to this Post...
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