Share our love of handbags, books, and all things gossip...okay, and Twilight too.

We're two delightfully crass gals who spend an inordinate amount of time texting and e-mailing one another throughout the day. We've decided to expound on some of our best work. Please to enjoy.

Douche Bag + Unicorn = ?

So here's a question: would knowing that these douche bags are secretly unicorns change your mind about their DB status?

Exhibit A: Mario Lopez

A man-whore who loves his abs and dimples way too much.

Exhibit B: John Mayer

He just won't keep his pie-hole shut about the women he has dated and when was the last time he came out with a new song? Oh and see the related article at the bottom of the post...really?

Exhibit C: Perez Hilton

Um, yeah, he totally deserved to be punched. There isn't really anything else I can say about him.

Exhibit D: Jon Gosselin

So tokin' it up outside your house, going to bars while your kids are at home with the nanny, hooking up with a not hot chick, and faking being excited about helping kids with disabilities to snowboard totally land you on my DB list. If you could have just kept your mouth shut and your pants zipped for a few more months, you could have gotten out of your marriage looking like a saint.

Exhibit E: Spencer Pratt

So this joker just keeps showing up everywhere. And why is he famous again? Thank goodness E! has banned Speidi from its network!

Yeah...I'm thinking that even if any of these guys read Twilight and secretly carry Twihard cards, it's just not enough to remove them from their Douche Bag status.


Anonymous said...

You pretty much hit the nail on the head with that one.. I don't know which one I dislike more.. Maybe Perez or Spencer.Though Mayer is up there too.... If they were twihards they'd have to have their own club.. They couldn't join "ours".

Snarkier Than You said...

LMAO! Oh and thank you for not choosing a pic of Spencer what-ever-his-name-is with that creep-tacular flesh-colored beard of his (and i'm not talking about his trampy "wife")... I only ever see him on "The Soup" [best. show. ever.] but that thing scares the bejesus out of me. {{{shuddder}}}

P.S. I am glad that my Twilight obsession replaced my Perez Hilton obsession. Because I'm apparently addiction-prone like that but am much happier now that I actually give a shit about all the stuff I am reading/obsessing over.

: )

Anonymous said...

ROFLMAO STY... I'm very addiction prone too.. tis okay.. we addicts must stick together.. And at first I totally (god i love that word lately) thought you were talking about his trampy wife..LOL

caring erratic hairbrained mom said...

OK, so I am a Perez fan, just cause I like to look at the pics. BUT, it was time someone bitchslapped him for all his shitty comments. HSpencer is a trainwreck, but I have to watch him,he blows my mind I honestly think he has somesort of disorder, and his sister... she's a dickhead too. They are poster children for the Plan B pill.

Bitches said...

@Snarkier...EEW, his "beard" makes my skin crawl. I wonder if the "beard" matches the carpet. *GAG* Oh, yea, I totally *heart* Joel McHale!

@Erratic...dude, he's a prime example of someone who should be castrated, god forbid they breed.

jrieggs said...

Jon gets an extra vote for douchiness. I was on his side but this new girlfriend has pushed me over the edge. She's 22!! And he got fat!! Where oh where is the fairness in this world?!!?

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