Share our love of handbags, books, and all things gossip...okay, and Twilight too.

We're two delightfully crass gals who spend an inordinate amount of time texting and e-mailing one another throughout the day. We've decided to expound on some of our best work. Please to enjoy.

"Our Vampire Sexy God"

After weeks of working without proper inspiration, I finally hiked up my big girl pants, and put out a picture of our beloved RPattz. Yes, it's the current issue of Us Weekly with "WetRob." And no, I didn't rip it out and pin it to the wall because they don't allow me to have office supplies. If they did I might start poking my eyes out with push pins. Anyway, I felt that I placed the magazine in a place in my cube where no one else would see it. Being a consultant, I need to be highly mobile (aka, everything you need better fit in your laptop bag). Plus, I figured since no one usually comes to talk to me, I could get away with it right? Wrong! Check out my stealth in the pics below.

So my boss stopped by and immediately spotted RPattz. While she didn't know his name, she knew exactly who he was. Just so you can have an accurate picture of my boss before I tell you what she said, she is a professional woman in her mid-to-late 50s who dresses cutely and accessorizes with only the best. So, you will imagine my shock when she comes out with this gem, "Oh, isn't that our vampire sexy god?!?" Our what?!?! Yeah, I didn't know what to say to that...although one of my Twitter besties (
marie2450) told me that I should have told her that I don't share!

I took a couple of extra pics of my lunch and the Edwards and Bella for your enjoyment.

So I ask myself, how did my boss know? According to another Twitter bestie,
Mrs_Robward (seriously, I can't concentrate when she tweets because her pic is awesome!), WetRob radiates sex wherever he goes. I guess there is just no keeping him secret!


Anonymous said...

I am proud of you.

Better than what I can do...I am a middle school teacher, the girls would die if I put up a pic. DIE!!!

marie said...

Seriously, tell people you don't share, unless your sharing with your twitter besties. Then sharing is, maybe.

Don't forget, WetRob is many things...but inconspicuous is NOT one of them!

Mrs. Robward said...

If I had a job to go to,

I would want to surround myself w/Rob too! WetRob, DryRob, RobRob.......any Rob!

(makes me want to sing to the tune of Old McDonald had a farm, "With a wet Rob here and dry Rob there, here-a-Rob, there-a-Rob...)

Sorry, I have self-diagnosed myself with Lyrical Tourettes.

Thanks for the mention!
You Rock!


Anonymous said...

Oh! thats great!.. Sex on legs draws people in.. He can't help it. People just know he is there.. Hell Marie's clothes take themselves off and run to find him..

EtomyB said...

I can smell pictures of Rob from a mile away. Your boss must have this ability as well.
(they smell like cigarette smoke and hair products)

Bitches said...

I'm so proud of your picture taking & display of Wet Rob. If only I could be so brave.
Ummm...dude, drink much?!

Jen said...

I love the picture display. But how hysterical {and randomly frightening} that your boss even recognizes him.

Latchkey Wife said...

I'm pretty sure once you zip up that little case, there's going to be a threesome going on in there.... and what a lucky Mini Bella - to be gettin' jiggy with not one, but two Mini E's!!

Tasha... said...

1. How do u focus with the sexy Wetbert around?

2. Your Wendy's has now caused me to snack!

3. You're shooting some kind of naughty Youtube vid with the pencilbag-threesome, aren't you?

Mrs. Vanquish said...

How can you concentrate on work ???
And is it right that I see the TweetDeck on your screen, meaning your tweeting while working ?

I´m still waiting for the best moment to put a big fat Rob poster on my wall, my boss wouldn´t care, but my two workmates in my office would then finally think I went insane.. Well, so be it, right? :-)

cutie said...

LOL I love this! Marie is a GENIUS! That is all I can say. And this post is so freaking funny!

That's what I've got and damn it I am sticking to it.

Oh and I totally love the Tweet Deck shout out. *wink*

Fire Crotch said...

Okay, first of all, I know I said it last night, but you bitches are the best!

@Ang (Amcas) - yeah, if I were in middle school, it would be all over...I think there would be rioting to see he could sit closest to Rob.

@marie - I would only share with my Twitter besties. Today I have leather-jacket-wearing-hand-in-hair-other-hand-inside-jacket Rob staring at me from my desk. I may have to take another pic.

@Mrs. Robward - You already know how awesome you are. The lyrical Tourettes...awesome. I look forward to more!

@sjAimee - on legs.

@EtomyB - Holy shit...I think you are right about the smell!

@Bitches - It is very important to stay hydrated...especially when you spend half of your day with your mouth hanging open staring at Rob.

@Jen - Yeah, it was very off-putting. I mean she has a grandchild! But after she got her Kindle she asked for a reading recommendation and I blasely mentioned Twilight...looks like someone has been doing some research!

@Latchkey Wife - Yeah, she is one lucky bitch. But I had to do something to protect the Edwards because I just had them floating around in my laptop bag and I noticed that regular Edward had a smudge on his face! Aghhhh! You should have seen me in Wal-Mart picking out the case. I was like WTF? Who wants a Jonas Bros or Miley Cyrus pencil case...where are the Twilight ones?!?

@Tasha - The focus was already a problem...I haven't seen my focus get even worse since he's been on the desk, so I figure I'm all good! And I better get on the vid stat!

@Mrs. Vanquish - Yeah, I tweet at work all day. It's like breathing now. I must have it up at all times! Plus I figured it was safer than having my real work stuff on the know, just in case.

@cutie - You're awesome!

Dizzz said...

Dear Lord, sis you have it bad, don't you??? LMAO!!! I still cannot manage to get a pic of Robward in my cube; i am still smarting from my co-workers episode the other week (i am still a bit embarrassed). I think though that Pocket Edward must have dazzled your boss, and that is why she checked out that corner. Love It!!

Betti Gefecht, the addicted said...

May I show off a little? - Ok, so... here we go:

In MY office I have:

1 'New Moon' official Poster, 1 Jacob bare-chested in the rain poster, 3 RPattz posters, 1 Twilight calender, 1 big fat Edward sticker attached to the phone, AND - until the cleaning crew which plainly consists of brainless unicellular organisms spoilt it with water last week - I had a LIFE SIZE CARDBOARD STAND-UP OF EDWARD.
So. There.

My boss had never heard of Twilight before she faced all that in my office. That was two months ago. Meanwhile she's through all 4 books and has made it to the stadium of fan fic reading. :-))

Fire Crotch said...

@Betti Gefecht - Okay, a little worried about the Jacob bare-chested in the rain posted (he's hawt, but still under-age). OMG you have a life-sized cardboard stand-up Edward! I am so jealous! I wanted to get one for Bitches but didn't feel she was worth that much money! Haha!

Call of Duty Widow said...

I'm not brave enough to put up any pics in my cubicle. Plus I have so much paperwork around I'd probably bury it under a pile 5 inches thick. I have watched Twilight on my ipod while I worked on reports though.

FC, I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who gets the 5 gallon bucket of drink when I go out. We must stay hydrated and caffeinated!

Bitches said...

Not WORTH that kind of money?!

Fire Crotch said...

@Bitches - Um, hello, have you priced those puppies on Amazon? It's going to be like $50-60 when all is said and done...just think how many times we could see New Moon (at the cheap theater of course) with that kind of money!

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