Share our love of handbags, books, and all things gossip...okay, and Twilight too.

We're two delightfully crass gals who spend an inordinate amount of time texting and e-mailing one another throughout the day. We've decided to expound on some of our best work. Please to enjoy.

Do NOT Google "Bad Unicorns"

So last night on Twitter (yeah, this is a totally gonna be that kind of post), someone started talking about unicorns (the lemony kind y'all). Actually, I believe we were all getting amped up about Amcas' awesome post for SSTB's Wide Awake discussion (it's week #2, still plenty of time to catch up on your reading). I guess working the night shift plus the added Twi-stress of Comic-Con and the RobWeekly pics that came out on Tuesday (I know, some of you don't like them, whatev, my blog, my rules) has finally cracked me up a little. I mean, look what I bought last night! (OMG, while looking for links to the stuff mentioned above, I see that they have New Moon birthday party supplies, squee!)

Anyway, I totally hi-jacked the Wide Awake discussion and took it to a whole new level. People were seriously looking for bleach for their eye-sockets after I was done with my unicorn peep-show. Without further ado, please to enjoy the parade of unicorns.
***WARNING: Not suitable for children or adults with weak stomachs.***


Thought I would start you out easy with a cute My Little Pony-esque unicorn and an adorable photo-manip. Who wouldn't be happy riding a unicorn?


What is with people and their weird ass tattoos? These both scream to me, "I lost a bet, and you got to tattoo me any way you wanted."


Yes, that horn is exactly what you though it was the first time you glanced at it. And I thought I would counterbalance with some sweet 1970s-ish unicorn-on-unicorn lovin.


I have no idea where this pic came from or why someone would do this, but it's seriously hilarious. And check out Rainbow Brite in the back!


Unicorn impaling a mime. Seriously, why does there always seem to be a rainbow around?


I don't really understand the unicorn impaling babies, but it strikes me as kind of funny.


I know this one was particularly disturbing to the dolphin lovers out there.


I call this one the Pièce de résistance. Yeah.


So, now that you are all blind, you can thank Amcas (check out her awesome blog here, 'cause she totally broke the RPattzp-Vodka shirt shizz) for the suggestion of showing my unicorn collection to you all. I will offer this final pic to cleanse your palate.

Um, seriously, after this pic, how can you still not think he's hawt? Oops, just had a unicorn.

16 comments:

Bitches said...

MY EYES! MY EYES! I've never been a fan of unicorns (To clarify, I mean THOSE unicorns, I'm a huge fan & receiver of the OTHER ones. heh) and I think these are going to give me nightmares. Especially that nekkid one. *shudder*

marie said...

*raises hand* Yeah, that was me that brought up unicorns. In fact, I told the twitter world that I wanted a unicorn....you definitely delivered unicorns. Your Pièce de résistance fucking cracks me up! I think I'm the only one who's still laughing over that shitastic picture.

Tasha... said...

Thanks. I need brain bleach now...damn you.

Ang (Amcas) said...

Uh, please don't blame this shit on me! I will not be held responsible for YOU showing impaling babies, geriatric lady getting her rocks off( she totally looks it), and that golden knobbed fucker who haunts my nightmares....
OH NO! YOU looked this craptacular mess up...YOU!
(i just said it would be a funny post...)
(tee hee)

Caring E H mom said...

First of all I cant believe half of those tattoos exist. Second, what is going on with the unicorn in drag? Is that his WANG covered in gold lamay? Holy hell. I also cant get over the twitter action that happens when I am asleep..Im stayin up tonight.

Snarkier Than You said...

my eyes MY EYES!!! Lol - omfg that was hysterical! I will never understand tats like that - maybe your "someone lost a bet" theory is spot-on - it's really the only thing that makes a lick of sense...

P.S. I love your twitter avatar (or whatever) - I need someone to give me a tweetorial so I know how to make that effing thing work right but I am having fun bumbling along.

: )

Mrs. Vanquish said...

Pahh, That is just gross! Who the fuck tattoos his arm with a unicorn fucking a dolphin??? I never want to see the person behind that!
I´m just glad I saw the pics in the morning and not right before sleeping, there would have been no way not to dream about that shit..

Anyway: thanks for the past pic *sigh* I´m almost back to normal now...

sjAimee said...

I was laughing so hard I woke up a kiddo.. That was fucking hilarious and totally traumatizing at the same time..

Love the pic of Rpattz.. its certainly hawt..

Jenny Jerkface said...

Holy shit was that funny! For some reason (that reason being I'm sick and twisted) I also thought the unicorn impaling babies tat was... funny.

I'm beginning to think I may need therapy...

Dizzz said...

Dear lord FC, I was looking at the new post info on twitter, and decided i had to look. At my laughter, mom FC decided to come pear over my shoulder to see your lovely blog... I don't think this particular one embarrassed her a bit, because she said "Oh God" at the last one and walked away... YOu should have warned me not to have her look at this one, LMAO!!!!

Annie said...

I don't know if you remember, FC, but I took some pics of my trip to this geek lover's paradise known as TATE's last week, including some unicorns. They also had the one with the impaled mime, shown above. :D It was awesome.

I'm still recovering from what you call "the Pièce de résistance." Yeah.

ApplesnFeathers-Susie said...

Oh sweet Lord! I've always loved unicorns and I loved them even more once they became a code word for juicy loving, but AHHH I think now I'm going to have to read WA a little more intensely so as to wash the previous images from my head! Ha Ha my word verification was "dredd"

Call of Duty Widow said...

I go on an internet and twitter vacay from Friday until today and I miss this? What the hell are people thinking. I don't know what part of "tattoos are permanent" people don't understand. Now I know that unicorns pee rainbows. Maybe they shit skittles too? On second thought, I don't want to know. I missed all of the good stuff on twitter over the weekend. FC, work the day shift from now on, okay?

jrieggs said...

C'mon now, the tat of a unicorn eating pizza with a mom tat is completly timeless. No way that person will ever regret getting it! Can you imagine being the doc who helps remove that one? nicely done!

Bitches said...

Sweet lord. I just realized the pizza eating unicorn sportin the "mom" tattoo has a gold tooth. Yes, a gold tooth.

Canux For Cullens said...

I am so glad you referenced this post yesterday. I hadn't gone this far back in your blog and it would have been a shame to have not laid eyes on this. I noticed the same thing bitches did. A tattoo of a unicorn with a gold tooth. My life is complete.

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