Share our love of handbags, books, and all things gossip...okay, and Twilight too.

We're two delightfully crass gals who spend an inordinate amount of time texting and e-mailing one another throughout the day. We've decided to expound on some of our best work. Please to enjoy.

Rant Wednesday - It's Been a Fortnight

So many things to rant about, but I will keep it short and Twilight-related this week. Bitches and I were emailing back and forth the other night in bleary-eyed frenzies about funny blogs we happend along. This convo quickly degenerated into me throwing around the F-bomb and complaining about a recent interwebs purchase. After having just spoken to SIL FC and hearing her uncontained excitement at receiving her beloved Twilight jewelry box set (collector's item indeed), I was pissed at Lands' End. Yeah, I hadn't ordered anything from them in like 10 years, but they lured me in with promises of 40% off and free shipping. I quickly chose my items and clicked purchase. That was almost two weeks ago and still nothing. Bitches comes back with this gem:

Dude, jewelry can travel halfway accross the freakin' world in a couple days, but your Lands' End swimsuit can't cross the state line in a fortnight?! That's crap.
Bitches really does say things like this on a daily basis and it never ceases to amaze me. Anyhoo, I finally checked the order status and UPS will have it on my doorstep no later than today. How is it possible that SIL FC can get her jewelry from freaking London, England in 4 days and I have to wait 2 weeks for a skirt and a bathing suit that I will probably have to return? Oh Amazon Prime, how you have ruined me for all regular online shipping!

This is an exact likeness of me...except add red hair, cottage cheese thighs, and oodles of freckles...oh and wipe the shit-eating grin off her face.


Anonymous said...

good thing fed ex isnt bringing it. You may never receive it. And I swear everytime I order something. The closer the shipping warehouse is to me the longer it takes me to get the damn thing! It's complete bullshit!

Dizzz said...

Apparently England cares more about expediated shipping than we do sis! Luv the jewelry btw. It looks so pretty sitting on my dresser. :) My friend at work told me i MUST wear some tomorrow. I think she just wants everyone to laugh at me. But just to SPITE her, i am going to throw on Rosalie's necklace and strut into work in the morning like i own the place. Muuuhahahahha!!!! You know darn well i got an awesome deal on that set; I think the euro went up in value so now it would cost even more. Thank God for my insanity last week!

Dizzz said...

Btw that swimsuit is absolutely adorable!

Jenny Jerkface said...

You know who else pulls that crap? Amazon. And Urban Outfitters. I once paid $10.00 extra to have something shipped in three days. It did ship in three days, but Amazon decided to wait 8 days before actually shipping the fucking thing. So it still took 11 days.

They totally pissed on my instant-gratification-parade.

Oh, and that bathing is cute!!

Bitches said...

I'm looking forward to the debut of this long awaited swimsuit with much anticipation...

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