Tipping the Scales at 100!

You have finally made it to our hundredth post oh sweet reader. Yes, you have celebrated our highs and suffered through our lows (did someone say unicorn?). And in celebration of our 100th blog post RPattz had a little something to say to us.

And I found some other pictures too. Seriously, I just binged "100 blog posts," and this is the shizz that came up. Comedy gold.

Creepy

I don't get it...100 calories = 100 blog posts?

Is it just me or does this look like a vag?

Pops is hot.

Please, please, please God make New Moon be awesome!

Oh, and if you have made it this far, then congratulations! Because guess what? We're doing a give away! For every 10 followers we have, we're giving out a copy of The Precious II when you follow our blog AND leave a comment on this post. Want better odds? Get your friends to follow the blog and leave a comment (make sure they mention you). Say you get 5 of your friends to follow the blog and they all leave a comment on this post and include your name. You get entered into the drawing 6 times (because of course you're going to leave a comment too) and they each get entered once! That's it. Just leave a comment by Saturday at 12 PM EST. The winners will be announced next Monday. Oh, and multiple comments don't = multiple entries.

I'll even cover the gross picture of Megan Fox for you.

We heart you guys long time!
Bitches and Fire Crotch

While the Cat's Away, Fire Crotch Will Play

The BF is away again this weekend at some game championship thing, so I figured it was time to do some redecorating. I mainly focused my attention on the bedroom. I spend so little time here (because I travel you naughty things) that when I come home, the bedroom is the first place I go.

This picture is the before. Don't you just love my generic Christmas-outfitted Snoopy? His name is K-Mart...one guess where I got him. Apparently I threw a fit in the store when I saw this adorable creature and my parents got him for me instead of giving me a swift kick in the ass. He's had some mishaps along the way, one being some makeup and an eye that keeps falling out, but K-Mart has been with me since I was a wee babe.

This is the after shot. Yeah, I totally covered up that beautiful hand-painted picture of the River Seine and the Eiffel Tower that everyone either has seen or bought while in Paris. I think I like the update. Très magnifique, non?

Okay, so I was too lazy to take the picture frame off the wall and actually put the Sexy Stars of Twilight poster under the glass for proper protection, but I figure this way it will be easier to switch out the picture. I swear that his eyes follow me when I walk in the room. Kinda creepy...creepy awesome!

And check out the view from my bed! Amongst all of the pics of my family and friends on my bureau, I can now see RPattz hotness staring back at me. Grandmom FC (with me in the gold picture frame) approves!

Oh, and what do we have here on the nightstand? Oh, it's RPattz. Right next to those books that I probably will never read because they aren't in my Kindle and my night cream for my poor cracked heels. Let's take a closer look shall we?

Um, so every time I see the picture in the bottom, I think of the phrase "choking a chicken" (kudos Jenny Jerkface).

And check it out...those three little pictures at the top spin around, so I can change Rob up any way I want. Amcas, please note the pic in the top left...still love your file name, heh.

I only wish I could be here when the BF comes home and sees what I have done. Seeing as how my urgings on Friday to grow out his hair and to take me to Comic-Con next year were greeted with suspicion ("Wait a sec, is this some kind of Twilight thing?"), I can't wait to hear what he has to say about the redecorating. He really should know better than to leave me home alone. Muwahahahahahaha!

Do NOT Google "Bad Unicorns"

So last night on Twitter (yeah, this is a totally gonna be that kind of post), someone started talking about unicorns (the lemony kind y'all). Actually, I believe we were all getting amped up about Amcas' awesome post for SSTB's Wide Awake discussion (it's week #2, still plenty of time to catch up on your reading). I guess working the night shift plus the added Twi-stress of Comic-Con and the RobWeekly pics that came out on Tuesday (I know, some of you don't like them, whatev, my blog, my rules) has finally cracked me up a little. I mean, look what I bought last night! (OMG, while looking for links to the stuff mentioned above, I see that they have New Moon birthday party supplies, squee!)

Anyway, I totally hi-jacked the Wide Awake discussion and took it to a whole new level. People were seriously looking for bleach for their eye-sockets after I was done with my unicorn peep-show. Without further ado, please to enjoy the parade of unicorns.

***WARNING: Not suitable for children or adults with weak stomachs.***

Thought I would start you out easy with a cute My Little Pony-esque unicorn and an adorable photo-manip. Who wouldn't be happy riding a unicorn?

What is with people and their weird ass tattoos? These both scream to me, "I lost a bet, and you got to tattoo me any way you wanted."

Yes, that horn is exactly what you though it was the first time you glanced at it. And I thought I would counterbalance with some sweet 1970s-ish unicorn-on-unicorn lovin.

I have no idea where this pic came from or why someone would do this, but it's seriously hilarious. And check out Rainbow Brite in the back!

Unicorn impaling a mime. Seriously, why does there always seem to be a rainbow around?

I don't really understand the unicorn impaling babies, but it strikes me as kind of funny.

I know this one was particularly disturbing to the dolphin lovers out there.

I call this one the Pièce de résistance. Yeah.

So, now that you are all blind, you can thank Amcas (check out her awesome blog here, 'cause she totally broke the RPattzp-Vodka shirt shizz) for the suggestion of showing my unicorn collection to you all. I will offer this final pic to cleanse your palate.

Um, seriously, after this pic, how can you still not think he's hawt? Oops, just had a unicorn.

"Our Vampire Sexy God"

After weeks of working without proper inspiration, I finally hiked up my big girl pants, and put out a picture of our beloved RPattz. Yes, it's the current issue of Us Weekly with "WetRob." And no, I didn't rip it out and pin it to the wall because they don't allow me to have office supplies. If they did I might start poking my eyes out with push pins. Anyway, I felt that I placed the magazine in a place in my cube where no one else would see it. Being a consultant, I need to be highly mobile (aka, everything you need better fit in your laptop bag). Plus, I figured since no one usually comes to talk to me, I could get away with it right? Wrong! Check out my stealth in the pics below.





So my boss stopped by and immediately spotted RPattz. While she didn't know his name, she knew exactly who he was. Just so you can have an accurate picture of my boss before I tell you what she said, she is a professional woman in her mid-to-late 50s who dresses cutely and accessorizes with only the best. So, you will imagine my shock when she comes out with this gem, "Oh, isn't that our vampire sexy god?!?" Our what?!?! Yeah, I didn't know what to say to that...although one of my Twitter besties (marie2450) told me that I should have told her that I don't share!

I took a couple of extra pics of my lunch and the Edwards and Bella for your enjoyment.




So I ask myself, how did my boss know? According to another Twitter bestie, Mrs_Robward (seriously, I can't concentrate when she tweets because her pic is awesome!), WetRob radiates sex wherever he goes. I guess there is just no keeping him secret!