Share our love of handbags, books, and all things gossip...okay, and Twilight too.

We're two delightfully crass gals who spend an inordinate amount of time texting and e-mailing one another throughout the day. We've decided to expound on some of our best work. Please to enjoy.

BlogoWriMo Day 5 - You Googled What?

Every Thursday I get an email detailing the hilariously depraved ways people find our humble little site here. A near constant is the searches for "jailbait," "real jailbait" (cause there's fake jailbait out there?), and "jailbait blog." A note to blog babies...don't put the word jailbait in a post, in a label, in a where. Just don't do it.

But we do get our fair share of funny/scary searches as well. Please to enjoy:

  1. dear google, i want to see a real unicorn - well, these aren't real unicorns, but it is quite the collection

  2. i hate megan fox but she makes me cum - This person is a sick...please get help.

  3. rainbow brite sex unicorn

  4. betti porn

  5. so you masturbate while watching twilight - Don't tell me you haven't at least thought about it...the kissing scene, the baseball scene, the gazebo scene...

  6. douchebag beard pics

  7. spencer pratt self castration - Sounds like this would be a bloody mess...we can't have that on our blog.

  8. central coast parent magazine - This one is probably the most disturbing of all the searches.

  9. dirty old man forced fuck

  10. "hydraulic level 5" - I love the fact that this search is in quotes...sounds more important doesn't it?

  11. sexpart - Which sex part?

  12. porn movies frombitches wifes - Someone has some pretty poor typing skills.

  13. what's wrong with vanilla sex - Absolutely least you're getting some.

  14. granny panties with pocket - Now I really want panties with a could keep all sorts of things in there...corn cobs, beer, lobsters, grandpa sweaters...

  15. shouldn't be allowed to breed - Too late...we have spread our twi-love far and wide.

  16. vanilla the rabbit sex game

  17. waiting to masturbate with electric toothbrush but someone's in the bathroom - An electric toothbrush? Really? Not a whole lot of girth to work with there...

  18. granny gobblers - I suspect with Thanksgiving quickly approaching everyone will be able to slip this little gem into everyday convo.

  19. 1 - Yeah, we are number 1

  20. And then there are the crotches: fire crotch tattoo, 100% fire crotches, cuties firecrotch, open crotch panties, jailbait panty crotch pics, 80s firecrotch porn


Honolulu Girl from Trueblood Twilight said...

OMG That's hilarious. People are generally weird, don't ya think? And they think twitarded people are crazy. My God.
Anyways, that's totally funny!!

Meg said...

LMFAO Corncobs in your panty pocket. You got corn on the brain, girl! ;)

bierbeck said...

ok those are just disturbing! And I love ceiling cat.

Smuttier Than You said...

I was ust contemplating why the piss my sleepy britches have pockets. I mean really...what the hell am I going to need to keep in my pocket while I sleep? a snack? chapstick? spare change?

uhyesplease said...

Crazy fucked up dude! But funny!!!

Betti Gefecht, the addicted said...

Excuse me please... betti porn?
Have I missed a certain post on this blog??

cutie said...


*raises from the dead*

cuties fire crotch! Bwahhahaha

*dies again*

Mrs. Vanquish said...

This is hilarious!! But Betti porn??? How that?
And cuties fire crotch??

Rofl .. I need to read your posts once more, from the beginning..

KG said...

okay my laptop may be suffering from water damage after the amount of liquid i just spit all over it from laughing so frackin hard!!

Susie From ApplesnFeathers said...

Ever since I posted about the Twilight porn movie coming out most of our google searches have been porn related...bad idea, maybe but good for business lol

Alice said...

LMAO. Please tell me you're joking. If not I'm afraid to walk those streets again. Oh and the ceiling cat is awesome!

itsjustme121799 said...

Oh, can't stop laughing!

One Pushy Fox said...

Ok, that's just hysterical!!! How on earth can I get this service for The Lemon Sisters???? Will you tell me if I leave you some ****COMMENT LOVE******

Call of Duty Widow said...

Those search strings just reinforce the fact that most people shouldn't be allowed to reproduce. This is a sick, sick world. Long live ceiling cat!

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