Share our love of handbags, books, and all things gossip...okay, and Twilight too.

We're two delightfully crass gals who spend an inordinate amount of time texting and e-mailing one another throughout the day. We've decided to expound on some of our best work. Please to enjoy.

Oh, That's Cute Dear!

Since I'm going home in a little over a week, I figured I should let Mommy FC in on my little secret. She probably will have nothing to say about the blog...but after watching Twilight with me and the niece back in March, she was like, "Oh, wasn't that a cute movie!" A cute movie? Hmmm...not quite the response I expected. Mommy FC tends towards comedies and action blockbusters. I figured the niece and I would be ridiculed for the "bad" movie selection for sure (especially since we went back and forth on the movie selection for 30 minutes before I finally decided on Twilight for the niece of course!) Romance and drama really isn't her thing when it comes to movies...although she has been watching Grey's Anatomy for a while...maybe it's getting to her.


From: xxxxxxxx@hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxxxx@verizon.net; xxxxxxx@msn.com
Subject: My Blog
Date: Wed, 20 May 2009 14:28:34 -0400

Okay, so after shedding a tear for the duck story (Mommy FC pretty much only forwards emails...not much originial content as you will see), I'm sure you are ready for a good laugh. So mom (Mrs. S., you're included because you have a good sense of humor),I can't keep my blog a secret any longer, although your daughter-in-law probably already spilled the beans.
Anyway, here's the link.


You were featured in the post entitled, "Young Men, YUM!" a couple of days ago. Yeah, your name on the blog is "Mommy FC" and no I am not going to explain the term Fire Crotch...you will have to google it. Pocket Edward will be coming home with me next week, so I figured this could be your introduction into my total lameness (or awesomeness!), hehe.

Post a comment, digg it, del.icio.us it, stumble it, become a follower, and coming soon you can become a fan on Facebook...and I totally know you have no idea what any of that stuff means, but I feel I have to at least mention it. So now you know what I do in my hotel room at night in the metropolis that is Johnson City, TN, hehe. Oh, and pass this on to your friends if you're not too embarrassed by your daughter.

Love, Fire Crotch


So today, I receive the following response from Mommy FC:

That will be great!! You will be well eaten that day (in reference to my stating that I will be going out to dinner with a friend in addition to going out to lunch with Mommy FC and Grandmom FC...yeah, I'm all about gettin me some grub...although that was not my first thought when I read this sentence...damn the TwiSmut! Thanks TWITARDED!). I’m going to go on your blog for a couple of minutes. I am trying to get the rest of the windows washed here.

Love, Mom

I'm glad to see Mommy FC making the effort, but really only a few minutes? You know she's going to get sucked in and read the whole thing. Although, it's been a couple of hours and no further response. I thought I would have gotten a quick, "Oh, that's cute dear!" At least I know that PE will definitely sparkle because of the clean windows!


And here is something that is definitely not cute. It's ridulous the kinds of things that pop up when you do a google image search for "cute"...grrr! Peeps are to be loved!

7 comments:

codwidow said...

You can't abuse peeps like that! They are meant to be eaten...one cute bunny ear at a time and work your way down.

Tenacious V said...

So, my blog is totally G-rated? (Or PG-rated, accounting for the occasional "mofo" that slips out.) And my parents live 8,000 miles away? But do they ever check it? EVER? No. Or if they do, would they ever say "it's cute"? No. They would be like, "Well, looks like you...got it all...in..." and we'd move on, quickly.

Treasure your mother, my dear FC.

Bitches said...

I just have to say that FC is a brave woman. There will be no such e-mails sent to my mother. She would be horrified and only confirm her suspicions that I am indeed a heathen child. My Dad, on the other hand, may be slightly amused. Disturbed, but amused.

cowidow: I agree! Peeps are to be enjoyed, one lil morsel at a time! Seeing them treated in such a way grieves me greatly.

Snarkier Than You said...

if it makes you feel any better, despite numerous mentions, an entire post dedicated to my bringing her over to the twi-side, and her totally getting sucked in to the books after considerable effort on my part convincing her to read them, when i finally showed my sister my blog she hardly had anything to say. ok, she said "impressive" but the whole email was two sentences long for fuck's sake. so i feel your pain.

: )

Dizzz said...

Did mom ever actually read your blogs??? I didn't nark you out like mom did to me the other day when she told you i hadn't started the book yet. Did you hear me in the background? I was like "MOM! Why are you narking on me!" LMAO

Fire Crotch said...

@Dizzz - I think she must have looked at some of them because she pretty much gave me the awkward silence on the phone. Maybe she was just embarrassed about me outing her love of JT. And FYI, she is next with the books, it's high time to get her addicted as well.

jrieggs said...

For realz? Momma FC is going to read the twilight series? Awesome!

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