Share our love of handbags, books, and all things gossip...okay, and Twilight too.

We're two delightfully crass gals who spend an inordinate amount of time texting and e-mailing one another throughout the day. We've decided to expound on some of our best work. Please to enjoy.

Beginning to Wonder if 1500 Text Messages a Month is Enough

So after I text B this morning to find out if she is finished with book #9 of the Southern Vampire Mysteries (a.k.a. Sookie Stackhouse series), she asks which series she should start next. Not feeling up to texting, I sent the following email (abbreviated because it got really long):

I really like Outlander. But I was really curious about the Black Dagger Brotherhood series and figured I could take a couple of days off to read one of the books. Which do you read next? Well, it's really what you’re in the mood for. If you’ve had enough of vampires and want a little bit more of a reading challenge, then go with Outlander. Seriously, Jamie and Claire are awesome...better even than Bella and Edward.

It's a little slow in the beginning...I was kind of like WTF, when does she go back in time? And don't worry this isn't sci-fi or anything. The biggest's really long (870 pages peeps). But on the plus side there is some good sex in the book...I seriously had to stop reading and fan myself after one of the scenes...just a little embarrassing. Here's one of the one-star reviews that clinched it for me (from C. Knight "book dork"...seriously, that's his name on Amazon): "I can't believe I read the whole thing. I kept hoping there would be something historical, something meaningful, something interesting. But no, it was talk talk talk, sex sex sex and one nasty beating after another. AWFUL! Don't bother."

On the other side of the coin is BDB. The first book is called...wait for it...Dark Lover! It's a quick read like the SVM books and quite enjoyable. The vampires are very different from the Twilight and Sookie vampires. Completely different rules (although they are big into smells like in Twilight). The main character kind of reminds me of Eric in some ways...not entirely sure why. And holy crap, there is a lot of sex in this book...a...lot. I went into full body blush reading some of the scenes last night...too bad I was all by myself, haha. Okay, TMI, I know, sorry. The biggest drawback with this book is the character names. If you can stop giggling long enough to read, you will be okay (examples: Wrath, Tohrment, Zsadist, Rhage, etc.).

After learning that B still has not completed #9, but will more than likely finish tonight, we continued texting:

FC: You better order something on amazon today dude

B: are the covers super embarrassing? (Think B was embarrassed about going to the YA section for her Twilight fix? It was nothing compared to how embarrassed she was by going to the Romance section for the SVM books)

FC: Outlander no bdb yes…Well if you have to go to the store then you need to get Outlander. The cover for Dark Lover is tres embarrassing. (yeah, I’m going old school with the faux-French…seriously I feel like a teenager more and more every day) Total porn covers. I am embarrassed just looking at them on amazon.

B: oh my…but i‘m also being pulled in by the sex of blackdagger! such a quandary…sweet lord…how will I ever read them here at lunch?!

FC: The sex in blackdagger is good but the sex in outlander is good in a “this man is your master” kind of way that I oddly thought was totally hot

B: that oddly does sound totally hot…wow, we’re so dirty, haha…I love it…just saw the dark lover cover…oh my, bad although not AS bad as I expected…I’d expected the typical romance novel cover w/ a bare chested Fabio carrying some fair maiden to safety heh

FC: Okay well whatever. I still think it’s embarrassing.

B: this is my tentative plan…go to b&n (*still wondering why B always waits until she is almost finished a book before ordering another and then submitting herself to sure embarrassment by going to a real store*) and purchase outlander…place an amazon order for some blackdagger to put in my queue

FC: Sounds good

B: now…after I finish the 1st outlander will I have an overwhelming urge to start the next? Or will I be able to take some time for blackdagger?

FC: I definitely wanted to start the second but after reading it I can tell you that it’s okay to take a break (B will need it because the 2nd book is over 900 pages!)

B: cool…I’m beginning to think I need a kindle simply for my smut books (FC worries that Mr. B will become tres bitchy if B gets a kindle and doesn’t take care of her “chores”)

…Later in the day…
B: Hey, off the top of your head, do you know the author of outlanders name

FC: Diana gabaldon

B: awesome, thanks…score…and it wasn’t embarrassing…it looks like a half decent respectable book

FC: I know!

B: I informed Mr. B an amazon order is being placed this evening and to get his desires in order (*hoping B means book ordering desires*)


Dizzz said...

Just so you two know, you have created a Kindle Addict in me, and now i am just going to HAVE to buy one as soon as i can gather the fundage. So FC, you still recommend the Kindle II, instead of that new one that is going to come out?? I don't know if i really want to spend the extra $150 on a bigger and bulker model, i would just like the privacy and portability to take the thing with me. You can't happen to write on it, can you?

LC said...

once you go with unlimited texts, you never go back!

Bitches said...

Ok, I just have to point out that the SVM books were in the Sci-Fi section...not the Romance section...thank you very much :-D hehe Not to say that those books weren't completely mortifying to purchase, though...I'm so placing an Amazon order this evening.

codwidow said...

The Anita Blake vampire books by Laurell K. Hamilton are more like porn the further through the series you go. The covers aren't too pornalicious either. I've got to reread the 9th sookie book. I read it when I had to stop reading Breaking Dawn for my own sanity and don't remember too much. I've found I read that series too fast and missed a lot. Reading the series a second time around fills in a lot of the missing pieces.

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