Share our love of handbags, books, and all things gossip...okay, and Twilight too.

We're two delightfully crass gals who spend an inordinate amount of time texting and e-mailing one another throughout the day. We've decided to expound on some of our best work. Please to enjoy.

Granny Wang Gobblers

As FC and I purchased our movie tickets Monday afternoon, we bitterly cursed the rising price of admission. ($7.50 for a matinee?! What the eff?!) Now, when I say we cursed, I mean we literally swore, repeatedly. The profanity continued as we got our popcorn, drinks, and settled in. At one point, FC turned to me and said, "You know, our language has really gone downhill, I wonder if it's because of the books we've been reading recently." You know, I think she's right. Not that either of us have ever been saints in the language department, actually, quite the contrary. My husband and I call each other Bitches for goodness sakes. (We've decided this is going to cause some problems when we have kids, it's hard to instruct lil Junior to "get Bitches to help you with your homework." Oh well, we have some time to sort that out.) Plus, there are times when my potty mouth could rival a sailor. Maybe it was out of general decency or the way I was raised, but I had always held back. However, since we've begun reading our delightfully trashy novels recently, that restraint has all gone out the window. Last week, BB decided he didn't want to get his delicate feel wet (it was a rainy day) and decided peeing on the bathroom floor was a much better option. Within a thirty minute period, I walked into the bathroom three times to see a puddle on the floor. Three times! And on the third visit, I stepped in it. The sting of profanity that I yelled at that point was unlike one I had ever expressed. Within one sentence, I dropped the F-bomb at least 10 times. Truly a record for me. And it hasn't stopped there, it seems my foul mouth has been unleashed and now it's going to be very difficult to rein it in.

As if reading our minds, Twitarded posted about a gem of a book they came across recently. It's a book dedicated to help improving your cursing ability and creativity. heh. Ok, I'm off to read more trash, I'm really behind.

For your viewing pleasure...please to enjoy.



Tenacious V said...

I'm not gonna lie, I don't verbally swear often because it sounds...I don't know, inauthentic when I do it. But I have always subscribed to the idea that all words are mine, and you better believe that it makes people sit up and notice when I drop one. Words of questionable taste roll off my fingers much more easily when I'm writing since I don't have to hear my stupid voice say them. But we often volley the word "bitch" in our house just because we can. As in: "Bailey just chewed up my new book! That little bitch!" Or "Bailey just jumped out of my lap to go lick herself. What a bitch!" But see, it's allowed because she's a female dog.

And yes, what you read does affect how often you drop an f-bomb. I mean, I spent the day reading some esoteric theology today, so I haven't been moved to use "mofo" lately. But I'm of the opinion that while it's uncouth, not something you can do in front of mom and polite company, there are much worse ways you can use your mouth than an off-color word or two.

codwidow said...

Having grown up mostly as a tomboy and studying in a field that is predominately male, my mouth is just as filthy as the next guy. The sad thing is I really have to watch myself since my 2 year old nephew likes to repeat things now.

Anyone else wondering if they powdered RPattz's nipples for the shirtless scenes?

Fire Crotch said...

@codwidow - Dude, I think they powdered everything! How would you like to have that job? Um, Mr. Pattinson, are you ready for your powder now?

Tenacious V said...

I'm pretty sure they shaded in his abs, too. I wonder if they have separate powder and shading people, or if one lucky woman or gay man gets to do the honors?

codwidow said...

Probably one lucky gay man...what a waste ;)

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