Share our love of handbags, books, and all things gossip...okay, and Twilight too.

We're two delightfully crass gals who spend an inordinate amount of time texting and e-mailing one another throughout the day. We've decided to expound on some of our best work. Please to enjoy.

Rant Wednesday - Items May Have Shifted

As a new feature here at WBPH, Rant Wednesdays will offer Bitches and I the chance to go off on stupid people, things, or events. Please feel free to offer your own rants in the comments.

So after being up since 3 in the morning, I’m not feeling as wide-eyed and bushy-tailed as I usually do on my Monday morning forays through jammed airports and little planes (yeah one has propellers people). On hopefully my last grouping in zone 4 seating (finally 30 segments, thank you baby Jesus), I trudge out to the plane only to be greeted by a full overhead bin. Figures! There is absolutely no way that I am checking my laptop bag or
putting it in another row, so I start rifling around in the overhead and see that part of the problem is a blue blanket. Funny, I didn’t think they had these any more on planes (unless you’re one of those lucky SOBs in first class which this little plane doesn’t have). Whatev, looks like a blanket, so I scrunch it up and throw my roller bag in the overhead bin. Meanwhile, people behind me are getting pissed because I’m taking so long and my fat ass is so huge that no one can get around me. Yeah, you all have to wait because I’m ready to bitch-slap the MF who put this blanket in the overhead. So as I go to sit down in my window seat (really, why would anyone choose the aisle?), the guy in the aisle seat jumps up and starts frantically rummaging around in the overhead and pulls out the blanket. Yeah, not so much blanket as his sports coat. And then I recognize this guy…ugly-blue-blazer guy (he's been on the same flight for about a month and every week has the most hideous blue blazer). Seriously, there is no name for the color of these jackets. Totally 70s. I hurriedly apologize about the mishap and sit down. Yeah, the guy is pissed, but you know what? I did him a favor…that blazer is fugly and should have been retired in ’79. You are welcome.

Yum...

5 comments:

Latchkey Wife said...

Hilarious! What are the odds someone has a blue blazer the exact color of an airline blanket? Was it fuzzy too, like the blanket? That's even worse!! My rant today would be stupid fucking clients that think they pay us too much money to do work that we're losing money on! Fuck 'em all... I have my blogs and that's all I need!

Fire Crotch said...

An additional rant...I had another freaking 13 updates for my laptop to install and now the sound doesn't work. How the hell am I supposed to enjoy watching YouTube videos now?

codwidow said...

I hate those damn propellor planes. I'd rather drive than get in one of those. I'm freakin' 5'10" and when I travel, I'm going to court...in heels and a suit. I always hit my head somewhere on those damn planes too.

My rant for today involves nosy asian guys on the train who try to read what I'm typing on my laptop. Yes douchebag, I know how to type and I'm working on a new blog post (that I posted tonight). Everytime I see an asian guy now, I have flashbacks to the full frontal asian male nudity in "The Hangover." I still shudder just thinking about it: lots of bush, tiniest weiner ever!

Bitches said...

@cowidow: "lots of bush" eeeww! *shudder* Reminds me of the Sex and the City episode where Samantha shares her love of a "full bush." I'll have to check that movie out...it's on FC's and my list to see...

jrieggs said...

Haha, I didn't realize that he jumped up to protect his poor little blazer. Such a brazen attack on his fashion! But for serious, what kind of professions wears a jacket like that? And...now I def have to see the Hangover, out of control!

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