Share our love of handbags, books, and all things gossip...okay, and Twilight too.

We're two delightfully crass gals who spend an inordinate amount of time texting and e-mailing one another throughout the day. We've decided to expound on some of our best work. Please to enjoy.

Twilight v. New Moon Smackdown!

So remember back in July when I ordered 3 sets of New Moon figures for Bitches, SIL FC, and myself? And how they weren't supposed to be shipped until October? And how I didn't know how I would transport them? Yeah, well, guess who got a phone call last week from the online toy store? That would be me. Apparently there was a problem with my order...I gasped. Out loud. At work. Loud enough for coworkers to surround me with worried expressions and ready to offer words of encouragement for whatever catastrophe had befallen me. AWKWARD!

So, I called the toy store later that night at their new 800 number only to find that no one was answering. I got a bad feeling that someone had duped me and that I was out a bunch of money and my New Moon figures! Ahh! But I did not give up all hope...I called again the next morning. Apparently they had to confirm that I was over the age of 18 and to get the security code on my AMEX. I guess they have had a lot of tweens calling up and ordering multiple sets of action figures?

So they arrived last Thursday, and I couldn't wait to get home and see my new action figgies. I tore open the box with my near-Herculean strength and plunged through the layers of packing popcorn and finally snatched them free from the box of hell. The BF rolled his eyes as per usual. Upon further inspection, these figures are kind of angry looking. And then I got thinking...who would win in a Bella on Bella slap-fest?

And...the ladies are off! New Moon Bella's thicker, fuller hair and barely there tank top easily make the first move. Oooooo...New Moon Bella just slapped Twilight Bella into next week! TB barely even got her arm up to retaliate! Will this be the end?
...and Twilight Bella is down for the count! The guys seem to be getting a real kick out of the girl fight. Alice doesn't seem too pleased about things. Perhaps she wanted a piece of Twilight Bella...I think she could totally take her down. We may have to schedule another smackdown.

Who do you want to see in the next Smackdown?

NM Edward v. Twi Edward
NM Edward v. NM Jacob
NM Alice v. Twi Bella
Sunglasses Edward v. NM Edward

View Results


Bitches said...

Dude, NM Bella looks like a total dyke! She looks angry and cracks me up! I like how it looks as though Twilight Bella's head is reacting to the massive punch thrown by NM Bella! I love girl-fights!

Snarkier Than You said...

it's true - NM Bella is pretty butch! And wtf - NM Edward looks like he's been taking steroids compared to Twi Edward. I don't like it!!!

P.S. It's usually the smaller, wiry, faster guyst that win in a smack-down, right? right?!

: )

mmMoxie said...

HA! That was awesome.

I'd like to see Jacob beat the shit out of both Bellas for being such a cock tease.

Mrs. Vanquish said...

I remember when you ordered them!! I would need a close up from NM Edward to see, if I need to buy it - but I guess I´ll buy them anyway..

I so want to see Mini-E vs NM-E, let´s see who will win - but I like a nice Girls fight! So my 2nd vote would go to Alice vs Bella!

Bex said...

Mwuahaha! That's totally made my morning! "fight, fight, fight" Ok so I'll quit with the immature chanting now, but seriously - nothin like a good bitch fight right? Bit of face slapping and hair pulling! NM Bella is lookin a little butch - maybe she's been training with JayHulk, but I reckon if TB borrowed Edward's sunglasses she might throw some mad skilz in to the mix....

Betti Gefecht, the addicted said...

Looks like Twi-Edward desperately wants to intercede in the catfight and seperate the girls, but NM-Edward stops him with that casual manly gesture, saying: "No wait, buddy, I wanna see that!"
Wonder what made Edward change from feeling over-protective to Peeperward between Twilight and NM?
ok, there's been all this awesome fan fiction emerging after Twilight... could he possibly...? Nah...! Or....??

Alice, well... Alice is just bored. No wonder. She knows already which Bella will win. Competitions are no fun for her. And since both Bellas wear pretty shitty outfits, there's nothing for Alice to be concerned at all..

Jacob couldn't intervene even if he wanted. After gaining so much muscles for NM, he's always a little stiff. He took the bus to attend the girl fight event, all seats were claimed so he had to stand up all the ride, holding on to one of the upper grab handles. And now... well it might take a while until he'll be able again to lower that arm. Will hurt like hell when the blood finally flows back... poor puppy!

And sunglasses-E has no idea what's going on here anyway - the dude is totally stoned, eyes fixed on NM-Bella's arse, hands unvoluntarily reaching out to...

Considering the whole scene I would think NM-J vs. Sunglasse-E would make a fair fight.
Boner vs. Stoner.

Dizzz said...

I am laughing so hard i am crying! OMG that is too freaking funny!

Dizzz said...

Oh and i love you SIL FC!!!! I love my New Pocket Friends and will have them at work tomorrow!!! All of them!!!!

Meg said...

New Moon Bella should have just kicked Twi-Bella with those ginourmous clown feet of hers. I agree with is a perfect description! lol

Honolulu Girl said...

I do still like the Twilight dolls. NM figures are just fucking creepy. Bella is seriously like "What the fuck bitch, Imma kick your ass" Look at her body. Hilarious. The battle scenes between the dolls should be epic. :)

Smuttier Than You said...

Fire Crotch, I think I have a girl crush on you! ROFLMAO!!! XOXO

jrieggs said...

Eww, they really messed up NM Bella and NM Edward looks so sophisticated...I don't like it! They tried to hard on these, glad you got your figures in a timely manner though!

Mrs. Vanquish said...

Really, I looked back to your old post where you showed them. I have the feeling they look differently there. Apart from the naked dog, Edwards face looks much better. Or what do you think?

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