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We're two delightfully crass gals who spend an inordinate amount of time texting and e-mailing one another throughout the day. We've decided to expound on some of our best work. Please to enjoy.

The Rumors Are True: Please Help Me Redeem Myself


It's true. The only piece of fanfic I have read is Wide Awake. *hangs head in shame* Quiet down, quiet down. It's shameful, I know. Ever since FC mercilessly outted me on Twitter the other day, it has weighed heavy on my heart. Before you judge or blacklist me, I'm convinced I wouldn't be in this position if they came in book form. I'm not a fan of coming home after a long day of staring at the computer screen, only to continue the torture in the evening. No matter how many unicorns are involved. And while I have a crackberry which is an amazing piece of technology and a portable vessel in which fanfic could be easily accessed at any moment, reading more than a few pages isn't something I enjoy. Then, there is the bain of my existence, The Man. The Man has made the last months of my life absolute torture, and to be honest, after a long day of fuckery my brain discontinues functioning and all I want to do is sit in a darkened room in absolute silence. Even if I did have time to do some pleasure reading during work, apparently, my employer finds this activity neither productive or a fundamental activity to completing my daily tasks. So, I'm left to reading on my own time, which is sparse and cherished.

Anywho, I absolutely loved Wide Awake. I was hooked immediately and enjoyed the adult content. It also gave me a new phrase which fits perfectly into my life and is used often - FML. It's this reason (as well as the hounding and heckling I receive regularly from FC) that leads me to overcome my issues and read another fanfic. I've been assured that the below choices contain adult content (which is now a requirement for my smutty mind) and are each pieces of wonderment. Ultimately, I will read them all, however, I need a good place to start and figured, who better to ask than the experts?


What should I read next?

17 comments:

rpfangirldc said...

Definitely go with The Office. After Wide Awake, it's very light and easy to read on the emotional rollercoaster. There are laughs and sex, and that Beautiful Bastard. I would read that one next for sure!!!

Can't wait for you to Tweet about it!

Twidiculous Wives said...

Must. Read. The Office!!

cutie said...

Well, I think there is nothing to be ashamed of. I'm supposedly a "twi-porn mistress" and I've only read three out of the six you are asking about. I do have a question for you. It will help me pick which to vote for. I am stuck between Breathe Me & The Sub. So my question for you is do you want some hardcore smut (aka The Sub (which is a really great story but smut smut and more smut)) or a story in which Bella grows a pair of balls and you'll meet the smexy Mick (aka Breathe Me). Honestly, I don't know why I ask because everyone is going to vote for The Office. One I have not read yet.

Oh the benefit of The Sub is it and The Dom are complete.

Mrs. Vanquish said...

Thats not an easy answer! apart from A twisted Twilight I read them all and loved them all for different reasons.

The only complete ones are The Sub (and The Dom which is the same story from Edwards POV).
The Office is definitely a must read.
And CW&IA is awesome, I love this one.

Breath Me is just wonderful, but it´s not a smutty one. So if you want to have a wonderful story, read Breath Me ( actually read it nevertheless, it´s great written!!) if you want smut, then The Office.

And I really recommend reading CW&IA.

Meg said...

Just read The Office...very good. I was never a fanfic reader either, but I got bored...not sure what I'm going to move on to next, though. Good suggestions! :)

Call of Duty Widow said...

I'm with you Bitches, I've only read Breathe Me. It isn't very smutty but it has a wonderful story line. Plus it has Mick from the tv show Moonlight, which is awesome. Damn tv networks not renewing shows, bet they're kicking themselves in the nuts since vampire shows are so hot right now.

Ivy Lane said...

Well, call me biased, but I love A Twisted Twilight Tale. I say biased because I wrote it, hehe. But it is not completed yet, nor will it be any time soon. It is an ongoing story for now. But if you decided to read it, i hope you like it. I'll even give you a small clip from next chap to coerce you as my next comment.

Ivy Lane said...

Sneak peek ~ Chapter 20 ~ Just for Bitches

“Of course I also would like to have three gorgeous ladies all to myself as well.” He added seductively. “I’d look like the hugest stud ever with you three on my arms.” His eyes twinkled in amusement. He looked into my eyes intently, his voice oozing charm, “You forgive me, don’t you Bella?” he whispered. My mind became somewhat fuzzy, in an agreeable fogginess. I nodded instinctively, feeling dizzy, forgetting what we were just discussing. Befuddled, like the way I would get at times when Edward stared at me and used the same type of tone. I couldn’t get a clear thought in my head momentarily.

tasha... said...

Oh Bitches. Your Man and My Man are evil fuckers. Luckily My Man is dense and doesn't notice me reading on the CrackBerry in my front scrub pocket or while navigating the halls of the hospital. ;)

Don't feel ashamed. At least you're not a FF Whore, like myself. (I feel kinda dirty now.) Anywho, I voted for The Submissive. ;) All of those fics are GREAT! But, The Submissive is complete. That means no waiting for updates. Just 37 complete chapters of exceptional writing and Domward lemons. Jesus Lord...I need a cold shower!

cutie said...

@ Bitches - I just voted for The Sub. ;) Truly... Tasha is right. The no waiting for updates is a BIG plus and the story is insanely well written not to mention a lemon-fest of nommy goodness.

That and then you can read The Dom and then there is The Trainer coming out at the end of the month... oh the goodness is unending.

Fire Crotch said...

While I absolutely love all of these fics, I'm going to go with the one that is finished just because I know how you are...The Submissive got my vote.

palasluna said...

Well, I lost my fanfic virginity with Wide Awake and damn it,I was hooked (read all the available chapters in two days). I discovered the Robsten chronicles (Robsten 2008)in one of the cracktwihard forums and it is very angsty, lots of RobPAttz nudity, very very good,also im following the Office (smutttty) and just finished Tropic of Virgo, which has such a beautiful writing (and completed) with lots of poetry and lyrics, it is really good.
I have some more to recommend (WIP Edward WallBanger is so funny as well as Par amoure), I become such a fanfic whore, that I probably should open my own FanFic Whorehouse....

Jenny Jerkface said...

Don't be ashamed! I'm woefully behind in my FF reading. But dude, definitely read the office. It's hot. :)

EtomyB said...

please, read all of those. But I cast my vote. ;)

Bereth said...

Well, as you have to start easy on this, I think you should read The Sub, and then The Dom because those are finished. I would also recommend The Boy by the Window by Hopefulhappenings09. It's just started (12 chapters) but it already got me! Not smutty yet but it's got a good darkward...

Pop_Khimaira

Rob's Swiss Miss said...

I probably should not be saying this for fear of being stoned, but it's not like I'm really capable of censoring myself: I have read NO fanfic. None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. I'm guessing from the comments I better get my butt out there and read this Wide Awake stuff. But I'm with you...work would not take kindly to me reading soft porn during office hours and real life prohibits internet access until right before bed. Oh hell, who needs sleep, right?!

palasluna said...

Rob Swiss Maid: Try Wide Awake after friday..'cause is so freaking addictive that you literally be unable to put it down.. I Loved Twilight Saga, but Wide Awake was like freaking CRACK...REALLY REALLY GOOD..but I'm still waiting for the epi...

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