Share our love of handbags, books, and all things gossip...okay, and Twilight too.

We're two delightfully crass gals who spend an inordinate amount of time texting and e-mailing one another throughout the day. We've decided to expound on some of our best work. Please to enjoy.

New Moon Nightmare


After realizing last week that I may have to work the night of the New Moon premiere, my level of angst over the movie has risen to DEFCON 2. Prior to reclaiming my Twiginity, I watched the original New Moon trailer and was somewhat dazzled (not just because of the prime JBone screen time). My hopes were high, and I couldn't contain my excitement over the movie. But as time has gone on, doubt has crept into my mind. The same person who wrote the Twilight screenplay also wrote New Moon and now Eclipse. And we all know how Twilight turned out. How many movies have you watched where the best parts are in the trailer and what's left in the movie just sucks? What if that happens with New Moon? I think I might die. So yeah, I'm kind of freaking out.

So when I woke up in a cold sweat the other night clutching my bosom and breathing heavily, you can understand my state of mind.


Well, I wish sexsomnia was my problem...yeah it's apparently a real sleep disorder. Wiki that shit.

No, I had a nightmare about the movie. Bitches and I were at the premiere with our WBPH t-shirts, action figures, cameras, and peanut M&Ms to use as ammunition against unruly tweens. We were finally allowed to file into the theater after waiting outside for hours. We scurried up to the top row in the middle (we were first in line natch) and readied ourselves for the movie event of 2009. While the previews played, Bitches shushed the tweens into silent submission, and then *gasp* it BEGAN! The movie started out okay, but as time went on, it morphed into some sick and demented movie featuring Megan Fox where she ate Edward. I wanted to claw my eyes out and gnaw my fingernails off. Yeah, so the cold sweat and unstable breathing was totally called for, no?

Luckily, we are still 59 days away from the premiere and Megan Fox has just bombed at the box office. I think it's safe to say that she won't be making an appearance in New Moon. Perhaps I need to chill a little and take an Ambien before bed.

9 comments:

Bereth said...

Ok... that was plain scary! Thanks God I just don't dream. Or remember what I dream...

Betti Gefecht, the addicted said...

Gawwd... you scared the living twilight out of me!!
Megan Fox???? WTF...
It's just a dream, honey! *pats FC's back soothingly* Just a dream...
everything's alright, just take a deep breath - that's fine - and another one... better?
The movie will be awesome, Robs will be gorgeous, Taylor sweet and Kristen bearable, ok? Chris will make up for any script flaws with dazzling pictures and Alexandre wil make our hearts swell with the beautiful score.
I promise!!! *takes FC's face in both hands* Look at me! You hear me? *speaks slow and distinctive* It will be great, ok?

sjAimee said...

O.M.G...

Scariest fuckin dream ever!!!!

It wasn't bad enough that someone ate Edward but it had to be Megan skank fox? Blech! I'm gonna have nightmares over this!

Thats been my biggest fear over all this. No not megan fox eating edward.. The other one.. You know about the movie not being good enough.

Twilight was a let down. Compared to the book it was a let down. No denying that fact. The previews had me all hyped up and then a huge FAIL when i went to see it. I was traumatized. Truly. My niece who I took with me didn't see my problem but of course she hadnt read the book either. I'm so worried that I'm going to be let down with this movie. I'm trying my damnedest not to get all hyped up over it because I don't want to be let down again. I was hoping they'd get a new screen writer for new moon and eclipse but.. newp.. I just hope the directors made a big enough difference. From waht we've been allowed to see they have made a difference but will that difference show through the whole movie? I dunno and its a bit overwhelming. If the movie sucks ass.. i will cry..

Mrs. Vanquish said...

This picture is really gross and I can imagine how it was for you to have this dream! I tell you what, Megan would love to eat Edward, but this will never happen.

I´m also pretty sure that NM will be better, much better than Twilight. Here and now I promise that it will be better!!! Take my word!

If you would take it, I would hug you - but I know you don´t like it, so I just shake you hand and nod with my head and tell you "sometimes it´s good that dreams are just dreams and not reality"

(a movie with rob and Megan? no please no..)

Rob's Swiss Miss said...

Oh snap, you had me giggling and cringing the whole way through this post!

Here's how I plan to approach the premiere: drunk and with low expectations for a fabulous, by-the-book plot line.

It will give me a big-screen fix for all my leading lustworthy men. And if the movie generally follows the main ideas in the book I'll most likely be very happy. You just can't expect it to literally follow the exact sequence and dialogue of the books.

That being said, I think we have less to worry about with this installment than we did with Twilight. There is so much more working in their favor to get it right (adamant fans, money, actors that know the books, etc.).

Honolulu Girl said...

That is a scary dream. No offense to anyone who loves Megan Fox but the girl can not act. I can't even imagine what Jennifer's Body is about. It's a total guy flick. Fuck I guess, guys don't want to see either since it bombed.

tasha... said...

I don't know if I should be scared or keep laughing hysterically! Wait..Megan Fox in New Moon is pretty fucking scurry! But you and Bitches pelting tweens with M&Ms and wiki'ing "sexsomnia" is too funny. =D

Bitches said...

When you told me this dream, I was deeply troubled and began worrying myself... then I realized it was all for naught. This movie is going to be all we hoped and dreamed it would be - and more.
Ok, let me just say that I absolutely DESPISE Megan Fox. She's completely imcompetant, nasty and not to mention a bitch. It really upsets me that Mr. Bitches has a *thing* for her. It really makes me question his judgment...*shudder*
Oh, yea, mark my word, we WILL have ammunition...err..M & M's to pelt at unruly tweens, or adults who come in the way of our movie-going experience. I WILL kick their ass and shush them into submission.

jrieggs said...

Wow, you really are having some crazy dreams! Wth is up with Megan's eyes in that pic? She's such a dumb skank! I figure New Moon has GOT to be a better movie than Twilight with all the popularity and money increases. Then again, Twilight grew on me so I'm sure New Moon would too. You could always try the getting drunk approach like Rob's Swiss Miss...

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