Share our love of handbags, books, and all things gossip...okay, and Twilight too.

We're two delightfully crass gals who spend an inordinate amount of time texting and e-mailing one another throughout the day. We've decided to expound on some of our best work. Please to enjoy.

More Emails from the Edge

Two nights ago, I was working hard on a post (not for here, for here) and needed a break. Being the good daughter that I am, I decided to email Mommy FC. This is what I sent her:

From: FC
Sent: Wed 8/12/09 12:16 AM
To: Mommy FC
Cc: SIL FC; Bitches
Subject: Mommy Dearest

Mom, I feel that I have given you plenty of time to get used to the blog, and I have left some subtle hints about how you now need to read The Saga and come into the fold or else. I was able to infect Bitches, SIL, my boss, and countless others indirectly with my Twi-mania, and since it is a mere 100 days until the New Moon premiere, I must insist that you read at the very least Twilight on your Canadian Rockies trip. You'll have plenty of boring airplane time to devote to the cause. I would even venture to say that you will probably zip through the book and may need to lend it to Aunt FC.

I'm going to speak for SIL FC and the niece when I proclaim that you must read Twilight and New Moon before Thanksgiving (when I will be home and we will all trek to the cinema and shell out tens of dollars to see this movie for at least the 4th or 5th time). Please be on the lookout for a package from Amazon. Believe me, you will thank me later. And in case you think you are the only bloggy Mom being forced to read The Saga, think again:

The Reluctant Twitard

On another note...I have decided to reclaim my Twiginity and will not be watching any movie trailers, interviews, or set-stalking pics. I fear I may have ruined New Moon for myself by watching everything available on the interwebs over the past few months, so I have vowed that Eclipse will be different. I want to be able to enjoy it like I did Twilight...pointing out every single thing that wasn't in the book. I hope that you will all support me in not being spoiler bunnies. Bitches is taking bets on how long I will last...she doesn't even give me until the end of the month.

And, yes, I realize that perhaps I have lost my sanity, but at the very least, it's been entertaining right? I'm burning the midnight oil literally doing a guest blog post and needed a break. Anyway, hope you enjoyed. Oh, and mom, the Twitarded post does have spoilers, so you may not want to read the entire thing.


Well, it's been 2 days...and nothing. Either Mommy FC is planning a Twintervention or I have stupefied her with my twihardedness. So I emailed SIL FC to get the goods on the situation on the home front this morning. Apparently, this is what Mommy FC had to say:

From: SIL FC
To: FC
Sent: Thu 8/13/09 7:57 AM
Subject RE: I blame you again‏ <--this is for introducing her to The Submissive and The Dominant and put the NSFW warning on there...and of course she read it at work!

She mentioned the email to me. She was confused. Her words were, "I received this really bizarre email from FC." I started laughing. She said, "she wants me to read those books but the niece would never lend them to me." I replied, "mom she is sending them to you via amazon." She was like, "Oh. Well, whatever." I told her it was only fair for her to have to read them, since she narked me out to you and you force fed them to me, lmao!

Somehow I don't think, "Oh. Well, whatever," was the appropriate response. *clasping hands together evilly* Mommy FC may be getting a mini-E delivery to her place of work one of these days. Mwuhahahahaha!

And for all of you who would also like to join the spoiler-free zone, here's some inspiration courtesy of


Mrs. Vanquish said...

Let´s see what Mommy FC says when she finally reads it! I infected my Mom also and she read it all in record time! I´m proud of her!
And MommyV is 63 :-) Just saying! It has nothing to do with age!

And Girl, I´m with you being spoiler free! Let´s hope we manage!

tasha... said...

I too infected my momma with the Twi-bug. We're model children, I would say. ;)

I'm proud of you reborn Twi-virgins. *bows* But, I'm rather comfy with my Twi-slutting ways. I know I should reform, but just the mere mention of getting to sit back and watch the teasing torture that Bitches puts you thru....worth it! Mwahahahaha!

jrieggs said...

I can only imagine how worried your mom was about you when she read that email!! but don't worry, I'm passing the books on to my mom too when I'm all done...she already asked for them!

Twidiculous Wives said...

My mother won't even listen to me anymore when I start in on her about reading the Saga. She sniffs (really, she does) at me and tells me she's not reading anything about teenage vampires. *Pouting*
Oh, and I'm proud to be a Twislut, and fully plan on whoring myself out to all things Eclipse. But congrats on being reborn. Good luck with that :).

Anonymous said...

Ha.. My mom would never ever ever attempt to read the saga.. my sister just laughs at me..

I thought about being a reborn twi virgin... i'm just not sure if I can do it.. I mean in theory its great.. But i'm so weak w/ this stuff..

Bereth said...

Dearest FC,

Since you started it, I'm here commenting.
I can't start wondering what your mother thought when she read that email. I'm happy for you for having the balls to do it. My mom would just look at me like I need to be doing something better with my time/life and that would hurt so much. She kind of does that with most things I enjoy. I totally hope that your mom reads The Saga and becomes just as addicted as we are!


Bitches said...

While I applaud ya'lls purity efforts, I must decline. Since I was rather unsuccessful in my previous "Purity" pledge, I will make no such promises. heh
This doesn't get me off YOUR ass, though, FC. I will still tempt and torture you, it's my duty.

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