Share our love of handbags, books, and all things gossip...okay, and Twilight too.

We're two delightfully crass gals who spend an inordinate amount of time texting and e-mailing one another throughout the day. We've decided to expound on some of our best work. Please to enjoy.

BlogoWriMo Day 7 - Saturday Funzies

I thought it was time for some funny stuff. None of it is mine...well except for the one on the bottom. Please to enjoy!

TwiLOL


Haiku Comics




Let me introduce you to the new addition to my action figures, or "the kids" as I fondly refer to them. If you weren't on Twitter last night, then you missed out on this loveliness. Below is a picture of Barbie Edward and his package (say it with a French accent...it sounds more exotic doesn't it?). On a side note, his skin is sparkly, but you can't see it in this pic...and his pants velcro open from the back. Hawt!

BlogoWriMo Day 6 - Guess Who Won!

Since both SIL FC and Mommy FC entered this contest, I wanted to be 100% sure that the drawing was totally random so I went with the popular random.org site to do the drawing for the winner. I don't want to be accused of nepotism...corncob fanaticism maybe, but not nepotism.



Congratulations Mrs. Robward! And you never thought you would win! Send me your address immediately so you can get your shirt ASAP!


Thanks again to CafePress for making this giveaway possible!

BlogoWriMo Day 5 - You Googled What?

Every Thursday I get an email detailing the hilariously depraved ways people find our humble little site here. A near constant is the searches for "jailbait," "real jailbait" (cause there's fake jailbait out there?), and "jailbait blog." A note to blog babies...don't put the word jailbait in a post, in a label, in a title...no where. Just don't do it.

But we do get our fair share of funny/scary searches as well. Please to enjoy:


  1. dear google, i want to see a real unicorn - well, these aren't real unicorns, but it is quite the collection

  2. i hate megan fox but she makes me cum - This person is a sick...please get help.

  3. rainbow brite sex unicorn

  4. betti porn

  5. so you masturbate while watching twilight - Don't tell me you haven't at least thought about it...the kissing scene, the baseball scene, the gazebo scene...


  6. douchebag beard pics

  7. spencer pratt self castration - Sounds like this would be a bloody mess...we can't have that on our blog.

  8. central coast parent magazine - This one is probably the most disturbing of all the searches.

  9. dirty old man forced fuck

  10. "hydraulic level 5" - I love the fact that this search is in quotes...sounds more important doesn't it?

  11. sexpart - Which sex part?

  12. porn movies frombitches wifes - Someone has some pretty poor typing skills.

  13. what's wrong with vanilla sex - Absolutely nothing...at least you're getting some.

  14. granny panties with pocket - Now I really want panties with a pocket...you could keep all sorts of things in there...corn cobs, beer, lobsters, grandpa sweaters...

  15. shouldn't be allowed to breed - Too late...we have spread our twi-love far and wide.

  16. vanilla the rabbit sex game


  17. waiting to masturbate with electric toothbrush but someone's in the bathroom - An electric toothbrush? Really? Not a whole lot of girth to work with there...

  18. granny gobblers - I suspect with Thanksgiving quickly approaching everyone will be able to slip this little gem into everyday convo.

  19. 1 - Yeah, we are number 1

  20. And then there are the crotches: fire crotch tattoo, 100% fire crotches, cuties firecrotch, open crotch panties, jailbait panty crotch pics, 80s firecrotch porn

BlogoWriMo Day 4 - Eclipse Twiginity

It's been rough going to say the least the last few weeks, especially since the New Moon trailers have been on the TV. Even with the wonders of TiVo, if you are lame like me and forget that you aren't watching live TV, you can be assaulted by the awesomeness that is New Moon. I am happy to say that I only caved once...it was late at night, I had just finished watching Sons of Anarchy on FX, so I figured I was safe (but we all know how great they are at targeting the New Moon demographic). But then, boom, the next thing I know is New Moon was all up in my face. I couldn't avert my eyes or stick my fingers in my ears and sing la-la-la-la. I couldn't find the remote to change the channel. So I watched it. And it was good. Real good.

But New Moon will be out soon, so I feel that I must join ranks again with the likes of
Cutie and EtomyB (it's her awesome pic down there) and declare my Twiginity for Eclipse. I don't even have to reclaim it this time! I haven't seen anything about the movie. They have finished filming it, and I haven't seen anything. With New Moon I had already seen the motorcycle riding, the movies, and some other stuff by this point...I was a total whore prior to going pure.

I know it's going to be a tough road to June, but I know it won't be lonely. Join the ranks of those who prefer not to be spoiler bunnies. And let's try to convert our Twi-friends to our ways. Will it feel as good as when you got your best friend addicted to Twilight? Probably not, but take heart in knowing that you are helping your friends have the best movie-going experience possible. So let's do it shall we?

BlogoWriMo Day 3 - Are Aliens the New Vampires?

With all of the hoopla surrounding the premiere of V tonight, one must wonder...are aliens the next vampires? Is the market already saturated with vampires? Are aliens the new hot sexy non-humans of TV and movies?

I remember the original V series from back in the 80s. It was on Friday nights and my dad and I would watch it after he came home from bowling. Somehow I think it was probably innapropriate television for someone as young as I was because it scared the bejeesus out of me. All I remember is lizard people eating live gerbils and huge spiders and some creepy lizard baby birth.


I remember that being way more realistic.


Somehow I don't think this creepiness will cut it. However, the special effects look way better than some of our favorite vamp *coughTwilightcough* movies. But let's do some side-by-side comparisons shall we?


The Important Cast Members


Observations:

  1. V has old people; Twilight not so much
  2. V has a priest; Holy water doesn't hurt vampires
  3. Everyone is so serious! And is just me or does Scott Wolf look constipated?
The Bad Guys

Observations:

  1. Aliens who look human but are actually reptilian and possibly eat creepy stuff or vampires who drink human blood?
  2. Woman leader or male leader?
  3. Cleavage or chesticles?

The Star-Crossed Lovers


Observations:

  1. Human + alien or human + vampire?
  2. Matching outfits or matching intense stairs?
  3. Two words: Edward Pattinson

I think vamps have the edge, except in the bad guys category. Reptiles just creep me out. Even when the bad vamps killed Butt-crack Santa it was kinda hot. What are your thoughts?

BlogoWriMo Day 2 - More Twilight TFLN


(203): a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up. <-- I don't see what the big deal is...at least she wasn't licking the screen, hehe.

(317): There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas?? <-- Pattinson Panties that vibrate...natch.
(301): please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk <-- Why? Doesn't work quite as well when I tell people I'm Bella Swan...too twitchy I guess.

(310): kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.

(1-310): damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
(859): Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time. <--Yes, it is sad. Sad that you would let such a hot piece of ass go to waste if he wasn't sparkly.

BlogoWriMo Day 1 - CafePress Shirt Giveaway

Welcome to day 1 of my self-inflicted, made-up BlogoWriMo challenge. Let's all review why I am doing this:


  1. Support my fellow bloggers who are are participating in NaNoWriMo:
    Fragile Littel Human
    COD Widow
    onepushyfox
    uhyesplease
    EyesofAmberBlog
    Honolulu Girl

  2. Donate to an awesome organization, CCFA. Starting November 1, 2009 12:00 AM EST through November 30, 2009 11:59 PM EST, I will donate $1 for every comment posted on one of my BlogoWriMo posts.*

  3. I like pain.

So without further ado, you all know what to do. Clicky on one of the links below and find the shirt you want. Leave the the link in the comments section with your email address, t-shirt size, and color. The contest ends at midnight on Thursday, November 5th EST. The winner will be announced on Friday, November 6th.


CafePress Australia
CafePress Canada
CafePress UK
CafePress US


This is the one that Bitches is going to get...it makes me giggle.