TWITARDED Meme Time!

So the other night the TWITARDED girls tagged us in their meme. I have to say that I wasn't exactly sure what a meme was so I looked it up...not very helpful it turns out, but who cares right? I immediately texted Bitches that she had homework to do before she went on vacay with the hubster for their anniversary. For those not familiar with the meme, here were the rules and questions and we hope you enjoy our answers.

Note to Mommy FC: You really should not read this post...please stop reading now. Thanks! LOL, FC

Let's do a Meme!

So here's the deal: STY and I came up with a couple of questions for all you bloggers. If you're tagged, answer the questions and tag four other blogs. Don't forget to link back to the blog that tagged you! Let's see how many blogs we can get to participate and hopefully at the end of all this we'll know a lot more about each other. Believe it or not, we even made the questions 99% other-blog friendly! I don't think I said vagina or cock gobbling in a single question!

On your mark, get set, GO!!
1) What is the craziest/most stupid thing you've ever done (that you would be willing to share!)?
2) One my personal favorite games: Fuck, Marry, Kill. With the Twilight cast. I can't wait to read these! (Or "Eff, Marry, Kill" if you don't have my potty mouth.)**3) What is your favorite band/type of music?
4) What is your favorite movie besides Twilight?
5) Do you RL life family/friends know you’re addicted to Twilight? A blogger?
6) How many hours a week do you spend doing Twi related things? You know, blogging, looking at pictures of the cast, reading fan fiction, etc.
7) Any random fact you might want to share. Big or small, it doesn't matter.

Bitches' Answers:

1. This isn't so much crazy as it is funny...to me anyway. There was once a friend who *only* wore tighty-whities *Cringe. Gag* and refused to cave into boxers despite a friend & my constant harassment & heckling. So, we procured a key from his roommate & stole every single last pair of panties he owned. Yes, even the soiled ones. Of course, we were gracious enough to leave him some replacements. Boxers. Good times.
2. Fuck Edward senseless. Kill Bella, don't give a rats ass about her. Marry Carlisle.
3. As lame as it sounds, I honestly don't have a favorite. I'm pretty open to all styles, however, I'm not a big country fan. Yea, not so much.
4. My favorite movie is Love Actually. Every Christmas Eve, Mr. Bitches and I snuggle up in front of the fire with a tasty beverage and watch it. It's tradition.
5. Yes, most of my RL family and friends know about my Twilight obsession. Some of them mock me and others are more understanding and even indulge and humor me, much to my delight.
6. I'm actually ashamed of my number. And not for the reason you'd think. Real life has been repeatedly flogging my ass and because of it, my number has slashed drastically.
7. I was homeschooled until eighth grade and raised in an extremely conservative Christian home. You know the crazy Mormon's with their whacked out turn of the century hair and floor length jumpers? Ok, well, we weren't that deranged, but pretty damn close. As you can all see, I've made a valiant comeback and made up for the lost years of cursing and general fuckery. The parents are beyond proud, let me tell you.

Fire Crotch's Answers (Mom, seriously, please don't read this):

1. When I was a freshman in college, I had a little addiction to online chatting. I would stay up all hours of the day and night talking to complete strangers online (I suppose this set me up well for my Twitter addiction). Anyway, I fell in with this group of people who were meeting up in Paris to go see a Joe Satriani concert. That would be Paris, France. So, what did I do? I invited myself along and went to the concert and then ended up staying with one of the guys in Manchester for a week. Not so bad right? I survived my first pub crawl (puking midway through really helps you finish strong), ate really great Indian food, and was introduced to Black Adder. Well, the really stupid part was that I told my parents I was going to Austria with a girlfriend from school. It was a fun trip, but looking back on it...Jesus, I was fucking insane.
2. Fuck: Alice while Jasper watches...or joins in. Marry: Jasper. Kill: Jacob (seriously, Mommy FC is out of control with her Team Jacob obsession).
3. Favorite band would be U2. Favorite music...I listen to just about everything (including country). Right now my absolute favorite is Dizzee Rascal...British rap just makes me happy.
4. Favorite movie is The Sound of Music. Hands down. Twilight doesn't even come close to this one.

5. I'm pretty much out there with my family and friends about my love of Twilight. You've all seen the vacation pics, the trip to NYC, and the pics with my aunt and grandmom. The minis will even be coming to Thanksgiving. As far as blogging, I think pretty much everyone knows except for my work peeps. I don't think they could handle the truth.
6. I spend probably between 30 and 50 hours a week doing Twilight related things. I'm including tweeting, emailing, texting, and shopping in with my blogging, fanfic reading, and Twilight watching time.
7. You wanna know how I picked my blog alias? I have red hair and the only thing I could think of was when everyone was calling Lindsay Lohan a fire crotch. When Bitches and I were creating the blog, Mr. Bitches was in the background and was first shocked and then laughed about then name, so I figured it was a go. And FYI...the rug matches the drapes.

Okay, so here's who's it!

Super Secret Twilight Blog

The Twiangle

Twisessed

Straight Jacket Aimee

Granny Wang Gobblers

As FC and I purchased our movie tickets Monday afternoon, we bitterly cursed the rising price of admission. ($7.50 for a matinee?! What the eff?!) Now, when I say we cursed, I mean we literally swore, repeatedly. The profanity continued as we got our popcorn, drinks, and settled in. At one point, FC turned to me and said, "You know, our language has really gone downhill, I wonder if it's because of the books we've been reading recently." You know, I think she's right. Not that either of us have ever been saints in the language department, actually, quite the contrary. My husband and I call each other Bitches for goodness sakes. (We've decided this is going to cause some problems when we have kids, it's hard to instruct lil Junior to "get Bitches to help you with your homework." Oh well, we have some time to sort that out.) Plus, there are times when my potty mouth could rival a sailor. Maybe it was out of general decency or the way I was raised, but I had always held back. However, since we've begun reading our delightfully trashy novels recently, that restraint has all gone out the window. Last week, BB decided he didn't want to get his delicate feel wet (it was a rainy day) and decided peeing on the bathroom floor was a much better option. Within a thirty minute period, I walked into the bathroom three times to see a puddle on the floor. Three times! And on the third visit, I stepped in it. The sting of profanity that I yelled at that point was unlike one I had ever expressed. Within one sentence, I dropped the F-bomb at least 10 times. Truly a record for me. And it hasn't stopped there, it seems my foul mouth has been unleashed and now it's going to be very difficult to rein it in.

As if reading our minds, Twitarded posted about a gem of a book they came across recently. It's a book dedicated to help improving your cursing ability and creativity. heh. Ok, I'm off to read more trash, I'm really behind.

For your viewing pleasure...please to enjoy.

From Radaronline.com

Scorned Lover

There was a time when I prided myself on being a fairly well rounded individual when it came to current events. I'd usually start my day with some CNN to see what was going on in the world, then make my way over to US Magazine and People to see who was knocked up and who had split up. My other trollings would take me to TMZ and the NY Times. Every time a new political scandal broke or spring breaker went missing, I was on top of it and followed the story until the body was found or the political figure was cleared of any wrong doing, naturally.

Current events hasn't been the only area of my life to suffer. Tivo's have taken a terrible hit as well. Every day I see the long list of Oprah, Gossip Girl and 90210's glaring back at me like a scorned lover. I keep making promises, telling myself that tomorrow will be the day I give them my undivided attention, but that has yet to happen. Mr. Bitches had to all but threaten me last week to watch American Idol and we're still a week behind.I realized I had a problem recently when my coworker expressed her delight of Drew Peterson's arrest for the muder of his 3rd wife. This is a story that I had followed for quite some time so the fact I had missed such a huge development was a big wake up call. This has happened repeatedly over the last month and it's all Twilight's fault. I say it's all Twilight's fault because that's what began my downward spiral. After completing Twilight I just couldn't stop! After an appropriate period of mourning (2 days) I took FC's advice and began the Southern Vampire Mystery series and now I've moved onto Outlander (in which FC has promised me much adult content...horray!). And, when I'm not reading, I'm trolling the internet in an attempt to score more Twilight scoop. Now, instead of reading the news I find myself religiously checking my favorite blogs for up to the minute Twilight happenings. I personally recommend TwiCrackAddict for it's very informative nature and TwilightWidower's and Twitarded for their pee yourself humor. Well, enough of that. FC just informed me I have another couple hundred pages to go until I get to the especially salacious bits of Outlander.

Speaking of internet trollings, I just couldn't help myself. It cracks me up every time.

TwiShame

People don't snort their first line in pursuit of becoming an addict. This is how I feel about my shameful addiction that all began in mid April a couple weeks after FC casually mentioned a book she had recently enjoyed. Since we have similar tastes and have been swapping books for years, I was mighty curious. The answer shocked me. Twilight. What the eff?! Wasn't that the movie that legions of hormonal teenage girls were obsessed with and the movie with the actor who had the crazy unwashed nast hair?! Indeed it was. I have to say, I am rarely one to judge, however, I was feeling kind of judgy. For the next couple of weeks FC pursued me like Charlie Sheen chasing a hooker while I continued to mock her for her new infatuation. She sat with uncontained excitement and a gleam in her eye as I opened the gift she'd given me for my birthday. Lo and behold, it was the first installment of the series. I crap you not, the next morning at 8am the text arrived, "Dude, have you started Twilight yet?!" My first reaction was, "Dude, quit sweatin’ me!" So, I promised to start it soon. That evening, my love affair began. Before I'd even finished it I plotted to get the next book. On my lunch break I hoofed it to Barnes & Noble and made a beeline for the Fiction section. No luck. Then I made my way over to the Science Fiction section. Again, no luck. I started to panic - I MUST have it immediately! Having limited time and desperately wanting to get back to my office to continue reading, I did the unthinkable - I asked. I pretty near peed myself when I was told "Oh, that's in the teen section." I attempted to seem nonchalant and make no eye contact as I quickly snatched up New Moon when a gal a couple years older than me conspiratorially told me the series was half-off at Wal Mart. I initially felt some relief until she said "I bought the set for my daughter the other day." Well then. Feeling rather faint, I quickly grabbed my book and raced to the cashier. I then ran like a bat outta hell to my car. This fix not lasting long, two days later I was faced with the same situation yet again. I ended up going to 3 stores in pursuit of my next score. Along the way, I ran into another older gal who felt equally ashamed of her addiction, and we consoled one another like only a fellow Twilight lover can. By the end of the week, I'd completed all four books. During that week, I had abstained from any internet trolling for fear of spoilers. So, once I'd completed the series the floodgates opened and FC directed me to Twitarded, TwiCrackAddict, Twilight Widower, and a host of other delightful sources for my Twilight fix. It's been happily ever after ever since.

Well, almost. I have to admit it wasn't without guilt. Poor Mr. Bitches suffered terribly that week (and the next couple of weeks due to my next obsession all thanks again to FC. Although, this time I didn't balk one bit at her suggestion, more about that later). He suffered without my company (a considerable and overwhelming loss) while I was locked away demanding silence. He also went without his usual tasty home cooked meals in favor of quickly thrown together dishes, that is, when I cooked at all. He definitely deserves some extra special adult fun.

*I do have one grievance, though. The culmination of Bella & Edward's relationship didn’t satisfy me. Like the addict I had become, I needed something stronger. I pounded my fists in frustration and cursed YA all the while promising myself that my next reading choice would most definitely include some adult content. Oh, and it did.

Don't Judge Us

Inspired by the likes of Twitarded and TwiCrack Addict, we've decided to start our own blog. While we both are deeply and irrationally in love with all things Twilight, we have made sure to make time for our other loves as well. These loves include, but aren't limited to, books, celebrity gossip, and purses. Please note that while we will do our best to keep our content PG (ok, fine, PG-13, who are we kidding?), at times we will be unable to help ourselves in the name of humor. Because of this, some posts may be rated TV-MA LSV. Admit it though, the trashier the better. And, if you don't, and you're easily offended, we suggest you take your blog-trolling elsewhere and not come crying to us.

Sincerely,

Bitches and Fire Crotch (aka FC)

P.S. Thanks IBitePrettyHard for allowing us to ride your coat tails.