You Know You Want It

It was definitely a Twi-Christmas in the FC household this year. From Bella and Edward Barbies to Team Jacob t-shirts (yes, for Mommy FC) to Twilight board games to Snuggies. Yes, I said it, Snuggies. I purchased 2 fleece blankets back on Black Friday and commanded Mommy and SIL FC to make me a Snuggie. Why not make it myself you ask? I didn't own a sewing machine (I do now...Mommy FC gave me one for Christmas...I think she may be telling me something. Perhaps it's, "Make your own damn Snuggie!" or maybe it's, "Hem your own effing pants!"). Anyway, Mommy FC told me a couple of weeks ago that we would need to discuss the "Snuggie situation" as there was a "Snuggie snafu." A Snuggie snafu? WTF? Needless to say I was a little more than disappointed, but I tried not to let on how down I was about it. I stayed strong.

And then I arrived home and SIL FC (also known as IvyLane24) was showing me a Twilight blanket that one of her annoying office co-workers gave her. Methinks she's not so annoying any more, but I digress. Anyway, Brother FC says, "Hey, why don't you make it into a Snuggie since you and Mom figured out how."

Wait...um, what? So, yeah, Brother FC totally blew Mommy FC's ruse out of the water. I think we all remember how SIL FC fooled me for months about her fanfic writing. Needless to say I was a little irritated that Mommy FC felt that she could pull the wool over my eyes a second time. She even went so far as to present me with a real Snuggie...hahahaha...she thought she was so funny!

Yes, this is the one I got...and yeah, it came with the special bonus reading light. So exciting! But then Mommy FC brought out the real deal and here I am modeling it for you.

Um, did you notice who's on my boobs? And then I made SIL FC model it as well. You may notice that the Snuggie only took one fleece blanket to make...so yes, there is a second New Moon Snuggie hiding in my closet.

Christmas blew up all over the place in here. It took nephew FC 2 days to unwrap all of his presents. But truth be told, he wasn't really that interested in unwrapping clothes since he got a new talking Elmo. Here's hoping the talking potty chair works miracles.

More Christmas Twi-goodness is on the way in a future post...stay tuned! Love you Mommy FC! Oh, and I need to extol the virtues of the Snuggie. You can blog, read fanfic, and scroll through your blogroll while wrapped in your Snuggie. You know you can't do that in a regular blanket!

Mommy FC and her Jacob Love Continues

We all know that Mommy FC is Team Jacob. Last weekend you may have seen the following picture on Twitter.


Yup, that's Mommy FC holding a magazine featuring our favorite werewolf. SIL FC called me screeching about what Mommy FC had bought at the food store (not sure why we don't just call it the grocery store) and then sent me the pic above.

So this Sunday when I spoke to Mommy FC, she gave me this update.

Mommy FC: I looked for that magazine at the food store yesterday.
FC: Uh huh...are you going to start hoarding Jacob magazines?
Mommy FC: *totally ignoring previous comment* Guess what? They didn't have ANY copies left.
FC: Really, did all of the other Team Jacob moms come and buy them all?
Mommy FC: *pause* Well, I don't know, but I'm glad I got mine. They have lots of other magazines with those OTHER people on them, but none with just Jacob.
FC: *sigh* Good for you mom.

I'm starting to fear that Mommy FC's obsession is getting out of control. I'm thinking an intervention may be necessary. Have any of your friends or loved ones turned away from Edward? What have you done? Is there hope for Mommy FC or will I have to endure this Jacob love forever? Perhaps I need to introduce her to fanfic and Domward.

Mommy FC is Team Jacob

I'm not sure exactly how or exactly when it happened, but Mommy FC is decidedly Team Jacob. I know...this is quite a blow, but I will just have to move on. Here are the facts as I know them:

1. I forced Mommy FC to start reading The Saga last month
2. She read Twilight and New Moon during her Canadian Rockies trip...she kept me updated via text - "Just finished Twilight! LOL!" - apparently Mommy FC thought LOL meant Lots of Love...super cute I know.
3. She immediately went out and purchased Eclipse and Breaking Dawn upon returning home...was there second-hand embarrassment? I don't know because she won't speak of the shopping expedition.
4. She is currently reading Eclipse every waking moment, well except for when she is doing cross-stitch (seriously, she has been working on this same project for over 3 years and still isn't done).
5. Upon seeing the cover of the Sexy Stars of Twilight New Moon edition, she remarked on Jacob's "hotness."

Yeah, number 5 kinda caught me off-guard too. Mommy FC was utterly captivated by the picture of Jacob on the cover...you know the one of him shirtless and looking over his shoulder with those bedroom eyes. Yuck! After I told her that baby Tay-Tay is a mere 17 years old, she was utterly unabashed. Apparently there is "no way a child can have muscles like that." Um, okay.

So when I was in Barnes & Noble yesterday to pick up a couple more copies of the Sexy Stars of Twilight New Moon edition, I also picked up a Jacob bookmark for Mommy FC. She was pretty excited when she found it in her copy of Eclipse. I guess I know what to get her for Christmas.

Note to Self: Do not go out with Mommy FC when she is wearing this sweatshirt. You know she will wear it everywhere...to the grocery store, post-Christmas shopping, and possibly even to work with a festive turleneck underneath. Oh, I am afraid...very afraid!

Oh, That's Cute Dear!

Since I'm going home in a little over a week, I figured I should let Mommy FC in on my little secret. She probably will have nothing to say about the blog...but after watching Twilight with me and the niece back in March, she was like, "Oh, wasn't that a cute movie!" A cute movie? Hmmm...not quite the response I expected. Mommy FC tends towards comedies and action blockbusters. I figured the niece and I would be ridiculed for the "bad" movie selection for sure (especially since we went back and forth on the movie selection for 30 minutes before I finally decided on Twilight for the niece of course!) Romance and drama really isn't her thing when it comes to movies...although she has been watching Grey's Anatomy for a while...maybe it's getting to her.

From: xxxxxxxx@hotmail.com

To: xxxxxxxxx@verizon.net; xxxxxxx@msn.com

Subject: My Blog

Date: Wed, 20 May 2009 14:28:34 -0400

Okay, so after shedding a tear for the duck story (Mommy FC pretty much only forwards emails...not much originial content as you will see), I'm sure you are ready for a good laugh. So mom (Mrs. S., you're included because you have a good sense of humor),I can't keep my blog a secret any longer, although your daughter-in-law probably already spilled the beans. Anyway, here's the link.

http://webiteprettyhard.blogspot.com

You were featured in the post entitled, "Young Men, YUM!" a couple of days ago. Yeah, your name on the blog is "Mommy FC" and no I am not going to explain the term Fire Crotch...you will have to google it. Pocket Edward will be coming home with me next week, so I figured this could be your introduction into my total lameness (or awesomeness!), hehe.

Post a comment, digg it, del.icio.us it, stumble it, become a follower, and coming soon you can become a fan on Facebook...and I totally know you have no idea what any of that stuff means, but I feel I have to at least mention it. So now you know what I do in my hotel room at night in the metropolis that is Johnson City, TN, hehe. Oh, and pass this on to your friends if you're not too embarrassed by your daughter.

Love, Fire Crotch

So today, I receive the following response from Mommy FC:

That will be great!! You will be well eaten that day (in reference to my stating that I will be going out to dinner with a friend in addition to going out to lunch with Mommy FC and Grandmom FC...yeah, I'm all about gettin me some grub...although that was not my first thought when I read this sentence...damn the TwiSmut! Thanks TWITARDED!). I’m going to go on your blog for a couple of minutes. I am trying to get the rest of the windows washed here.

Love, Mom

I'm glad to see Mommy FC making the effort, but really only a few minutes? You know she's going to get sucked in and read the whole thing. Although, it's been a couple of hours and no further response. I thought I would have gotten a quick, "Oh, that's cute dear!" At least I know that PE will definitely sparkle because of the clean windows!

And here is something that is definitely not cute. It's ridulous the kinds of things that pop up when you do a google image search for "cute"...grrr! Peeps are to be loved!