You may have noticed a theme in some of my posts recently and if you haven't, well I've become a bit obsessed with corn. Yes, corn. You wanna know why?
Okay, well maybe not in everything, but you know that it totally doesn't digest well. First we had the Team Edward Corn Maze. But that wasn't really enough to push me into near mania.
So what did it? I bring you Rob eating corn. Grandpa sweater? Check. Lobster bib? Check. Rolling Rock? Check. Drawn butter ready slather all over Rob? Check. Partially eaten corn cob? Check. Rob obviously sucking stray kernels from between his teeth? Check mate.
Oh, look how cute he is grasping the corn cob with a napkin while taking a swig of beer. I guess the lobster just isn't that appetizing. But could you imagine? Rob cracking lobster claws and sucking out the meat while the juices dribble down his chin? And then you could lick the juices off and...oh god, I think I may have a food fetish or something.
In keeping with my corn theme, I would totally wear these pumps during my corn eating encounter with Rob. And just these. Yup. Hawt. I think they scream, "Hi, my name is Candy...Candy Corn." Heh.
Oh, and I might bring my little friend along with me. Although there are a few things about this product that are slightly troubling.
Not that I have shopped for devices like this before, but I think the name of this one is a little different. The Sexual Harassment Cornbrator: Hyper Wank Device. Why would you want to associate your product with sexual harassment? And did anyone else notice the two dudes on the box? Very interesting. Maybe I will leave this at home. I'm sure Rob has enough corn for the both of us. I'll bring the butter baby (thanks Dane Cook). And thank you Vanity Fair.
