BlogoWriMo - The Results Show

Ahhhh...as BlogoWriMo draws to a close, guess what I just found out? BlogoWriMo is an actual thing. Well it's really called NaBloPoMo, but it doesn't have the same ring to it. Anyway, you know what this means right? Next year I'm roping all of you into this insanity! Yes! They have prizes! You know you want an Edward Cullen Sock Zombie!


But I digress. The real reason that I did BlogoWriMo was to raise money for CCFA. For every comment that I received during November (and yes, I included a couple of latecomers), I promised to donate $1 to CCFA. You all did not disappoint me!

You raised $379!
I'm sure you all know that this is an organization close to Fragile Little Human, and I asked her to write a little something to help close out BlogoWriMo 2009.

When you find out you have IBD, you're embarrassed to tell anyone because you're afraid of how people will react. It's not exactly dinner-table conversation material. I've been blessed in my life to have lots of family and friends and the CCFA to support me during a lot of unpleasantness.

Now, my circle of friends has expanded with all the wonderful women (and maybe a unicorn or two *wink*) I've met in the Twi fandom. I am so grateful to you all for commenting away so FC can donate her hard-earned money to help the CCFA continue to support patients and researchers in their fight against Crohn's and UC. I am also thankful to those who made their own individual donations. I ♥ you all!

FC, you are my hero - you have been unfailingly wonderful to do all this, and it means a lot to me. *trying not to sing "The Wind Beneath My Wings" or some other crappy song*

Fragile threatened bodily harm if I didn't include the last paragraph, so in return I decided that we had to have a unicorn picture. Don't worry! I searched for "tasteful unicorns" and this was the most tasteful of the lot...trust me.


If you want to donate to CCFA on your own, you can do that here or you can text a donation from your phone!

Haikus and Unicorns

I happened across a pretty cool website this evening...I think you will see what drew me in immediately. Obviously is was the haikus, duh!

Here are a couple of my favorite haikus.

Make sure to check out the website and show them some comment love!

Pocket Edward Does NYC: Part Deux

As FC told you all yesterday, we took a girls trip to NYC this past weekend. The girls had been forewarned weeks in advance of Pocket Edward's presence during this trip and advised he would be whipped out at a moments notice to document his journey to the city. They were surprisingly welcoming of him and even offered suggestions.

On Saturday, we stepped into FAO Schwartz. I say stepped because we literally "stepped" in and out of the store. We bailed while the other gals shopped & power shopped our way through the Apple Store & Bergdorf Goodman's. We didn't last long in Bergdorf Goodman's since we were rather offended to be trailed by 3 security guards. Come on, don't we JUST look like the type that would stop in and pick up a few 5K bags? Hmph. Anyhow, PE rather enjoyed his 2 minute stop in the toy store.

While we were snapping away, a grown chick walked by and actually squealed to her boyfriend, "Look, it's Edward Cullen!"

We also stopped by the NBC Store in Rockefeller Center. PE was rather excited to see Matt Lauer and begged for us to take his picture with him. He's a lot taller than I'd imagined.

I think FC may have been grabbing Matt's ass.

No trip is complete without frolicking through Central Park. Yes, that is me cheesing it like the psycho freak I am.

PE was feeling rather frisky and was copping a feel of my boob. I didn't mind. I liked it.

PE had no part in the following images you are about to view. We found ourselves with some time on our hands and since I have no shame, the following events kept us entertained. If you have a weak stomach or you're easily horrified by 80's apparel, please do not look at the following pictures. Please to enjoy.

What terrified me the most about this get-up was that Mr. Bitches was mildly turned on by it. *shudder*

You may have seen me on the street corner in Times Square working as a Lady of the Night.

As we all know, FC is OBSESSED with unicorns. I think she can literally spot one in a mile radius. So, NYC was no exception. She jumped up and down like a three year old when she saw this gem.

I'm thinking Christmas pressie.

Some More Tastiness...

Like how I didn't tell you what kind of tastiness? Yeah, it's not Rob tastiness...

I can't believe I never saw this before. Shhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuunnnnnn the non-believer!

Twilight For Porn

After lurking around the blog for quite some time, a friend of Mr. Bitches made a request. He wanted to borrow Twilight so he could "see what all the fuss is about." After I recovered from shock, I decided there was no harm in lending out my precious possession. Then it occurred to me, this friend (who shall remain nameless) has quite the impressive adult entertainment collection and I have been in the market for some lately. I've just been too cheap and lazy to take the plunge and make a purchase. Yes, we are in possession of some *cough, cough* movies, but the quality leaves a lot to be desired and nothing kills the mood like a crappy picture or 80's hair. Both equally disturbing.



Mr. BItches doesn't understand what the problem is with 80's hair and probably see's nothing wrong with the above photo. .


So, I propositioned him, you lend me some good quality smut and you can borrow my precious Twilight. A deal was struck, and the other day I pimped out my DVD and in return have some good adult entertainment to look forward to and hopefully multiple unicorns! Everyone is happy...I'm happy, "nameless friend" is happy and even Mr. Bitches benefits from the deal.

Do NOT Google "Bad Unicorns"

So last night on Twitter (yeah, this is a totally gonna be that kind of post), someone started talking about unicorns (the lemony kind y'all). Actually, I believe we were all getting amped up about Amcas' awesome post for SSTB's Wide Awake discussion (it's week #2, still plenty of time to catch up on your reading). I guess working the night shift plus the added Twi-stress of Comic-Con and the RobWeekly pics that came out on Tuesday (I know, some of you don't like them, whatev, my blog, my rules) has finally cracked me up a little. I mean, look what I bought last night! (OMG, while looking for links to the stuff mentioned above, I see that they have New Moon birthday party supplies, squee!)

Anyway, I totally hi-jacked the Wide Awake discussion and took it to a whole new level. People were seriously looking for bleach for their eye-sockets after I was done with my unicorn peep-show. Without further ado, please to enjoy the parade of unicorns.

***WARNING: Not suitable for children or adults with weak stomachs.***

Thought I would start you out easy with a cute My Little Pony-esque unicorn and an adorable photo-manip. Who wouldn't be happy riding a unicorn?

What is with people and their weird ass tattoos? These both scream to me, "I lost a bet, and you got to tattoo me any way you wanted."

Yes, that horn is exactly what you though it was the first time you glanced at it. And I thought I would counterbalance with some sweet 1970s-ish unicorn-on-unicorn lovin.

I have no idea where this pic came from or why someone would do this, but it's seriously hilarious. And check out Rainbow Brite in the back!

Unicorn impaling a mime. Seriously, why does there always seem to be a rainbow around?

I don't really understand the unicorn impaling babies, but it strikes me as kind of funny.

I know this one was particularly disturbing to the dolphin lovers out there.

I call this one the Pièce de résistance. Yeah.

So, now that you are all blind, you can thank Amcas (check out her awesome blog here, 'cause she totally broke the RPattzp-Vodka shirt shizz) for the suggestion of showing my unicorn collection to you all. I will offer this final pic to cleanse your palate.

Um, seriously, after this pic, how can you still not think he's hawt? Oops, just had a unicorn.

Douche Bag + Unicorn = ?

So here's a question: would knowing that these douche bags are secretly unicorns change your mind about their DB status?

Exhibit A: Mario Lopez

A man-whore who loves his abs and dimples way too much.

Exhibit B: John Mayer

He just won't keep his pie-hole shut about the women he has dated and when was the last time he came out with a new song? Oh and see the related article at the bottom of the post...really?











Exhibit C: Perez Hilton

Um, yeah, he totally deserved to be punched. There isn't really anything else I can say about him.








Exhibit D: Jon Gosselin

So tokin' it up outside your house, going to bars while your kids are at home with the nanny, hooking up with a not hot chick, and faking being excited about helping kids with disabilities to snowboard totally land you on my DB list. If you could have just kept your mouth shut and your pants zipped for a few more months, you could have gotten out of your marriage looking like a saint.






Exhibit E: Spencer Pratt

So this joker just keeps showing up everywhere. And why is he famous again? Thank goodness E! has banned Speidi from its network!











Yeah...I'm thinking that even if any of these guys read Twilight and secretly carry Twihard cards, it's just not enough to remove them from their Douche Bag status.

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