You Know You Want It

It was definitely a Twi-Christmas in the FC household this year. From Bella and Edward Barbies to Team Jacob t-shirts (yes, for Mommy FC) to Twilight board games to Snuggies. Yes, I said it, Snuggies. I purchased 2 fleece blankets back on Black Friday and commanded Mommy and SIL FC to make me a Snuggie. Why not make it myself you ask? I didn't own a sewing machine (I do now...Mommy FC gave me one for Christmas...I think she may be telling me something. Perhaps it's, "Make your own damn Snuggie!" or maybe it's, "Hem your own effing pants!"). Anyway, Mommy FC told me a couple of weeks ago that we would need to discuss the "Snuggie situation" as there was a "Snuggie snafu." A Snuggie snafu? WTF? Needless to say I was a little more than disappointed, but I tried not to let on how down I was about it. I stayed strong.

And then I arrived home and SIL FC (also known as IvyLane24) was showing me a Twilight blanket that one of her annoying office co-workers gave her. Methinks she's not so annoying any more, but I digress. Anyway, Brother FC says, "Hey, why don't you make it into a Snuggie since you and Mom figured out how."

Wait...um, what? So, yeah, Brother FC totally blew Mommy FC's ruse out of the water. I think we all remember how SIL FC fooled me for months about her fanfic writing. Needless to say I was a little irritated that Mommy FC felt that she could pull the wool over my eyes a second time. She even went so far as to present me with a real Snuggie...hahahaha...she thought she was so funny!

Yes, this is the one I got...and yeah, it came with the special bonus reading light. So exciting! But then Mommy FC brought out the real deal and here I am modeling it for you.

Um, did you notice who's on my boobs? And then I made SIL FC model it as well. You may notice that the Snuggie only took one fleece blanket to make...so yes, there is a second New Moon Snuggie hiding in my closet.

Christmas blew up all over the place in here. It took nephew FC 2 days to unwrap all of his presents. But truth be told, he wasn't really that interested in unwrapping clothes since he got a new talking Elmo. Here's hoping the talking potty chair works miracles.

More Christmas Twi-goodness is on the way in a future post...stay tuned! Love you Mommy FC! Oh, and I need to extol the virtues of the Snuggie. You can blog, read fanfic, and scroll through your blogroll while wrapped in your Snuggie. You know you can't do that in a regular blanket!

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 24

Thanks to RobsButtonsBabe's awesome RobNip for the final day of the advent calendar!

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 23

This last one was for Mommy FC.

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 22

Santa Pattz created by Hybeccer

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 21

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 20

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 19

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 18

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 17

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 16

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 15

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 14

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 13

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 12

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 11

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 10

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 9

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 8

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 7

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 6

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 5

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 4

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 3

Twi-Advent Calendar - Day 2

So this morning I had an excellent idea...I'm so humble, I know. Since I'm trying to be good and not gain a hundred pounds this holiday season I have eschewed my usual chocolate-filled advent calendar, but my fingers still yearn to open those little doors. So how about a Twilight advent calendar? We missed yesterday, so we get to open two doors open today. Please to enjoy.


If you have any pics you would like included, please email them to me at webiteprettyhard[at]hotmail[dot]com.

BlogoWriMo - The Results Show

Ahhhh...as BlogoWriMo draws to a close, guess what I just found out? BlogoWriMo is an actual thing. Well it's really called NaBloPoMo, but it doesn't have the same ring to it. Anyway, you know what this means right? Next year I'm roping all of you into this insanity! Yes! They have prizes! You know you want an Edward Cullen Sock Zombie!


But I digress. The real reason that I did BlogoWriMo was to raise money for CCFA. For every comment that I received during November (and yes, I included a couple of latecomers), I promised to donate $1 to CCFA. You all did not disappoint me!

You raised $379!
I'm sure you all know that this is an organization close to Fragile Little Human, and I asked her to write a little something to help close out BlogoWriMo 2009.

When you find out you have IBD, you're embarrassed to tell anyone because you're afraid of how people will react. It's not exactly dinner-table conversation material. I've been blessed in my life to have lots of family and friends and the CCFA to support me during a lot of unpleasantness.

Now, my circle of friends has expanded with all the wonderful women (and maybe a unicorn or two *wink*) I've met in the Twi fandom. I am so grateful to you all for commenting away so FC can donate her hard-earned money to help the CCFA continue to support patients and researchers in their fight against Crohn's and UC. I am also thankful to those who made their own individual donations. I ♥ you all!

FC, you are my hero - you have been unfailingly wonderful to do all this, and it means a lot to me. *trying not to sing "The Wind Beneath My Wings" or some other crappy song*

Fragile threatened bodily harm if I didn't include the last paragraph, so in return I decided that we had to have a unicorn picture. Don't worry! I searched for "tasteful unicorns" and this was the most tasteful of the lot...trust me.


If you want to donate to CCFA on your own, you can do that here or you can text a donation from your phone!

BlogoWriMo Day 30

We have reached the final day of BlogoWriMo. I know, a tear is coming to your eye, but I urge you to wipe it away. I'm not going to let the last 30 days, the hundreds of words written, the questionable pics uploaded, all fade to black just when I've built you up to a fevered pitch and then shower you in feathers. No, I'm going to keep going. I know some of you doubted me and were taking bets on how long I would last...you know who you are...and I'm going to come and hunt you down like Laurent racing from the wolf pack. Yup, just like that.

You all have been awesome with your comment love and have raised a bunch of money for CCFA! I will have the final tally tomorrow. Yup...a post tomorrow...well unless this stomach thing really gets serious (thanks SIL FC...seriously, you shouldn't have hugged me).

But I have been pondering the things that I have missed out on in the last month because I have been blogging like a mad-woman. Okay, not a mad-woman exactly, I will be the first to admit that I phoned some of those posts in and/or pulled them out of my ass...yes the smelled like ass too. So here are some of the things that I missed this past month:

1. Blog trolling - and I know you have all missed my outlandish comments on your blogs; and everyone has changed their blog designs! Simply gorgeous ladies!


2. Fanfic induced wet panties - my inbox looks like a who's who of naughty written deliciousness; it's going to take a while to get through all of it; and yes SIL FC, I will beta chapter 2 of AFLB!

Now back to the reason I started BlogoWriMo...to copycat support all of the lovely ladies who participated in NaNoWriMo:

Fragile Littel Human
COD Widow
onepushyfox
uhyesplease
EyesofAmberBlog
Honolulu Girl
So, how did they do? Well, I'm not really sure. You'll have to ask them yourselves since I was otherwise occupied. Perhaps they will let us all know in the comments! So who's up for the challenge next year? I will do BlogoWriMo again next year, so some of you better do NaNoWriMo!

So what did you miss while I was blogging? Did you miss Bitches? Tell her how much you heart her and can't wait to see some new stuff from her. Trust me, she has some stupendous posts coming up.
Love you all...and there is still time to comment! I'm taking comments until 11:59 PM EST tonight! Do it...or else it's going to get really ugly up in here (um, yeah, that's kind of a quote from Jacob in NM, but you know I can't quote movies to save my life)!

BlogoWriMo Day 29 - I'll Never Get Laid in This Bed Again

But does it really matter? I have Edward in my bed every night, heh.

BlogoWriMo Day 28 - Twi-Thanksgiving

As promised, the Pocket Army came out to play for the annual FC family Saturday Thanksgiving feast. Mommy FC is the best cook ever!

This li'l Pilgram is fully protected, if you know what I'm saying...

Jacob is always so helpful to Mommy FC...yuck.

What a marshmallow!

Food fight! Looks like Jacob has a wicked curve ball with the mashed potatoes.

Clean up is a bitch. Don't I look like I'm doing the Bella cross-eyed face?

Too bad you can't eat pumpkin pie...it was delicious.

I'll take a slice of apple pie with a side of Guidoward, please!

Hope you have all enjoyed these pics and had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

BlogoWriMo Day 27 - Black Friday Twilight Style

After getting over the shock of my 89 year-old grandmother starting out our Thanksgiving feast talking about how she suffered from her first bout with diarrhea this past week (this only strengthened my theory that every dinner-table conversation we have in our family devolves into shit, even the classy ones), we ate, drank, conversed, and then went home to plan our Black Friday shopping strategy. (*Note: I forgot the pocket army and have no pics, but Mommy FC is doing another Thanksgiving tomorrow, so not to worry.) Oh, and back to the diarrhea thing...seriously, she never had it before? In 89 years? Crazy! Yeah, and Aunt FC totally started singing the diarrhea song.


The shopping strategy went out the door because we were all too tired to remember the plan at 3 AM. We ended up zig-zagging back and forth across town with a baby and a car filled with Christmas presents no less than 5 times. And thank you nice lady who told me that the Giant on Cowpath Road had the Keurig coffee maker for only $59.99! Eat it Bed, Bath and Beyond - 50% off (clearly the best buy of the day)!

I did manage to acquire a bit of twi-merch. First stop: Toys R Us. Mommy FC and SIL FC skipped the toys and went to Old Navy where we had to wait in the longest line known to man. When I joined them in the line at Old Navy and started showing off the merch, obviously the people behind me were just jealous...on the inside. Then we went to more places I can't really remember, and coming upon one of the weakest Salvation Army bell ringers in history...he didn't even have a bell. I remember going to Target where SIL FC ran over at shouted at some women in the Barbie aisle. The coveted Bella Barbie and the Twilight Scene It game are now mine. A few hours later I acquired a new tree for the Twi-Christmas tree (don't forget to send pics of your ornaments!).

This chick has some really awesome stuff! Check her out here!
Nine hours and hundreds of dollars later we rolled up to the FC estate to unload our spoils of war. But really the most important purchase was 2 New Moon fleece blankets I pried from the cold dead hands of little tweens at 4 AM this morning. Why would I need two? It's for a Snuggie bitch! Born out of a New Moon viewing, Meg and I came up with the fabulous-o idea of making a Twilight Snuggie. After minutes hours of searching the interwebs for Twilight Snuggies and finding nothing, I vowed that I would make one. Thank goodness Mommy and SIL FC are handy with a sewing machine. Stay tuned for the unveiling of the Twilight Snuggie. You will be blown away. For those of you wondering what the eff a Snuggie is, please to enjoy:

BlogoWriMo Day 26 - Giving Thanks

I will start off this post with a bit of mush, so just deal with it. I am thankful for all of our readers and commenters here on WBPH. You all have made BlogoWriMo a rousing success and I know that Fragile Little Human and CCFA are going to be really happy with the donation at the end of the month! Keep commenting...only a few more days left. Wanna know how much we have raised so far? Check out the thermometer over there -->

Okay, now onto the more base things that I am thankful for this holiday season:

1. Doin' it - thanks Mr. and Mrs. Pattinson


2. The DILF - thanks Mr. Weitz...even though you look eerily like the late Christopher Reeve and speak like a valley girl,I'd still do you because of your excellent work on New Moon


3. Action Figures - I would like to amend this a bit...I'm also thankful to TSA for snickering every time my laptop bag goes through the X-ray machine


4. Charlie Pepper Spray Rambo - thanks to Betti and Mrs. Vanquish for this wonderment


5. Full-size Jasper - nothing more needs to be said...MJ and Cutie are da-bomb


6. Haikus - I'm thankful for those girls over at the Twiangle; if you haven't checked out their Hump Day Haikus...do it!


7. Robporn - amcas...I heart you!


8. Fanfic - thank you for making me run through panties like toilet paper at the New Moon movie


9. Phil Dwyer - if it weren't for you going off to Florida and playing minor league ball, Bella would never have gone to Forks...

BlogWriMo Day 25 - It's Gonna Be a Twi Christmas

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! One month to go peoples...and apparently snow flakes are already in the forecast here. Gah! I hope you have compiled your lists and checked them twice (I'm still hunting for a Barbie Bella). We all know that Santa never really leaves coal, so you better have some good stuff waiting for him by the tree.


Calling all crafty Twi-hards. Send me pics of your best Twilight holiday decorations (webiteprettyhard[at]hotmail[dot]com). I will post them throughout the month of December. I'm making a Twilight tree this year...think red ribbons, red apples, pics of Robward, corn...it's going to be epic!

BlogoWriMo Day 24 - Must Be Dead Bird

Twilight Cycles from Brandon Routh

We have all had bleeding vaginas at one time or another. Can you imagine putting a tampon up there that smells like garlic? Ew. Two words: dead bird.

BlogoWriMo Day 23 - Lies Make Baby Jesus Cry

So I am home for the Thanksgiving holiday and finally was enjoying my first home-cooked meal in months. After finishing an excellent dinner with Mommy FC and SIL FC, I leaned back in my chair and contemplated eating a piece of chocolate cake. At this point SIL FC asks me, "So when are you going to finish reading the second chapter of my story?"

I didn't blink an eye and said, "Well, I just haven't had the time and the first time I read the chapter it needed some work." Wait a second...what? Her chapter?

Yes, well it seems that I have been duped. SIL FC is actually one of my favorite fanfic authors, IvyLane24. And I only have one thing to say about it.


Apparently Mommy FC was also complicit in this deception as was sjAimee. Just watch out. You are all on my radar now.

If you are wondering what IvyLane24 has written, check out the following stories:
A Twisted Twilight Tale
A Fine Line Between
The Volturi Affair

BlogoWriMo Day 22 - I Drive Like a Cullen

Apparently the Virginia State Police doesn't like it though. Now taking donations to pay my huge ticket.

BlogoWriMo Day 21 - Anti-Fuckery Prayer

Before the movie on Thursday night, Bitches and I caught a quick bite at our local Chick-Fil-A. Yes, I know I said we were having Gobblers, but I made the command decision that they would be too messy. Bitches cannot deal with goo and stickiness.

As we saunter into Chick-Fil-A, we realize that it's kids night and the place is absolutely crazy. We order and Bitches immediately searches out a booth. Let's just say I was a little over-joyed when the only booth open was the one right behind her super-Christian gyno. Remember the shirt that Bitches procured? The "I would strip for the Cullens" shirt? Yup, totally awesome.

After we sat down to eat our tasty treat, Bitches prayed for our food (out loud...yeah I went there, but it's a big deal...she never prays for my food). And at the very end of the prayer she sneaks in a little something especially for New Moon.

I just about fell out of the booth once I realized what she had said. Our dear little Bitches. Even your prayers include potty mouth. But, the good Lord heard her prayer. There was no fuckery during the movie. Now on Friday night...that was a different story...

BlogoWriMo Day 20 - Feelin' Pervy

We anticipated for months.
We purchased tickets.
We stalked theater workers about seating.
We flirted with little high school boys (ok, it was more Bitches than me).
We watched.
We cried.
We jizzed.
We...felt...pervy.


Even though I had seen the pics of Taylor shirtless in GQ and Men's Health, I wasn't prepared. I even ridiculed Mommy FC for crushing on our favorite jailbait. I may have jizzed in my pants when Jacob took his shirt off to sop the blood off of Bella's head after the motorcycle accident. I may have jizzed again when Bella comes to bitch out Jacob for ignoring her after the movies. And then there was a bunch of jizzing after that because Jacob didn't have his shirt on for the rest of the movie (well except for when they walked on the beach after the dog fight). At one point I said out loud, "This is so wrong."


I wanted Bella to make out with him. I wanted her to stay when he begged her not to go after Edward. And when he and Edward had their little argument, I kinda wanted them to go at it. TayTay brought it with a vengeance. I heart him hard. Thank you Taylor Lautner for making New Moon so awesome.