Our Dirty Game

There's a lil game Mr. Bitches and I like to play whilst watching So You Think You Can Dance. If you've watched the show, you know a guy and girl are paired up as partners that perform different dances together once a week. Bringing two attractive strangers together in a situation requiring close contact and a crap load of grabbing and man-handling of one another is bound to result in some hook-ups, right?

That's where our game comes in...it's very simple and has two parts. The first half of the game is to decide if the couple is gettin' it on or not. Sometimes, it's very obvio

Image by johnb/uk via Flickr

us, other times it takes more scrutiny and a couple weeks to make a final decision. There are couples that are obviously so not into one another and are merely putting up with each other and there isn't a chance in Hades they're gettin' it on. Then, there are the couples that are beyond thrilled to get their hands all over one another and practically eye fuck each other during their time together. Every week there are couples flirting and practically humping one another on the dance floor and you just know they're going back to their rooms and turning the dance horizontal. What really trips me out is the number of contestants who arrive in a relationship and seem to leave their significant others in the dust a matter of weeks later for their dance partners. I can only imagine the incredibly uncomfortable phone conversations they must have after their performances trying to explain themselves.

Once we've concluded that they are indeed getting it on, the second half of the fun commences. We must decide if they're simply doin' it, or doin' it well. Obviously, we all know, there is a difference. A huge difference. Some of the couples you can tell are super attracted to one another, however, are a little awkward. There's a ton of flirting and their hands are all over each other, however, there's a clumsiness to their advances and despite their attraction, in the bedroom, they just don't have it goin' on. And then, there are the ones that are doin' it, and doin' it well. There's no awkwardness or fumbling. Instead, there's chemistry and electricity as they're dancing, as if you're watching extended foreplay. Yea, I know, we're perves, but it makes watching the show pretty darn entertaining. To be honest, to me, this game is almost as entertaining as the show itself.

Yes, I know that this is all speculation and a little subjective. However, when a guy gets booted and his partner is sobbing hysterically, the look of pain in her eyes says a thousand words.

Allison & Ivan from Season 2 were doin' it, but not well.

So You Think You Can Dance

One of my favorite shows is So You Think You Can Dance and every year I look forward to it with baited breath. This year, I've been so caught up with my trashy novels that I've been giving it the cold shoulder. It had gone on too long and the other night Mr. Bitches insisted we sit down and spend some quality time together watching an episode. Very begrudgingly, I complied and fell in love all over again.


One thing I love about SYTYCD is how much it inspires me to get into shape. Seeing all the half naked super sculpted bodies leap about the stage really inspires me to start exercising faithfully. Although, if you know me, this has never happened, despite watching faithfully every season. I just keep hoping that one day I'll be motivated...maybe the 5th season's the charm, right? Yea, I'm not betting on it, either.

The other thing I love about this show is the crappy dancers. Watching all the delusional "dancers" flail about never ceases to amuse me. It really makes me wonder about the quality of their friendships. Because if they truly had good honest friends, they would know they suck balls and not feel the need to go on national television and humiliate themselves. Speaking of humiliating yourself, it's really surprised me how old some of the non-talent has been. There were quite a few of them in their late 20's. Teenagers making complete and utter fools of themselves is something I can dismiss as a lack of maturity or ignorance. I am however, less inclined to extend such leniency to a 28 year old making a complete dumb ass of himself. I mean, who that age takes time off work, flies to another part of the country and stands in line all day just so they can be laughed at?


After all the good laughs, there are some amazing dancers and it's really a great show...so long as you can get past Mary Murhpy's horrendous screeches.